I'll Be Right Beside You Dear
by Chloes-Cheese
Summary: Castiel trained Kallie to be a Warrior for God, never expecting to learn to fall in love. Five years later, Castiel is recalled and Kallie is charged with protecting the Winchesters. But they learn distance means nothing. Not Songfic. T for language.
1. Run

**Disclaimer: So the world hates me and I don't happen to own anyone from Supernatural. Cas may stay with me often but i unfortunately don't own him.**

**Author's Note: So here is a new story idea. hope you like Kallie and the story, it gets better. and trust me Sam and Dean show up soon.**

**Bare in mind that this current vessel Castiel is in is not the Jimmy Novak we all know and love. but trust me, he is still the same kick-butt attractive angel. (plus we'll get to dear old Jimmy later)**

**The story starts around Season 2 of the show, but gets to Season 4. There's too many variables in Season 5 for me to mess with so I'm planning on staying around Season 4. But bear in mind, this is a slight AU. I try to stick with the show when I can but soimetimes I have to stretch a little.**

**Now read and please review!**

_Light up, light up_  
_As if you have a choice_  
_Even if you cannot hear my voice_  
_I'll be right beside you, dear_

_Louder, louder_  
_And we'll run for our lives_  
_I can hardly speak, I understand_  
_Why you can't raise your voice to say..._

"Kallie, hurry! There is no time left." Castiel called back to her as the couple raced through the darkened alley in desperate flight from dangerously swift pursuers.

Kallie struggled to keep up with her superior angelic partner and grabbed his hand in the hopes that through this, she might be able to borrow some of his speed or bring him slightly to her pace, "Castiel, wait! I don't understand. You're an angel, you've handled a lot worse than angry spirits. Why don't you just stop them? And what do you mean there is no time left?"

Castiel maneuvered them around a dumpster and down another alley, only looking back to make sure Kallie was still with him, "It's no longer just the spirits pursuing us, not anymore at least. It's Azazel."

"Azazel?" Kallie asked with a weak voice as goose bumps covered her skin and a chill ran down her spine.

"Yes, he has found us and he's brought with him more demons than we alone can handle." The angel answered.

"But I thought we killed him! He's supposed to be back in hell for a very long time! I thought we took away his 'get out of jail free' card so this wouldn't happen." Kallie retorted, shooting a backward glance at the shifting shadows cast on the building at the opposite end of the alley from them.

"I don't know what that means but he made some very powerful friends before we sent him there and they have since pulled him from the pit." Castiel said quickly as noises grew louder and he attempted to increase the pace.

"How could they do that? Only angels are supposed to have that ability." Kallie whispered frantically, narrowly avoiding falling over an unidentifiable lump of dirty clothing that seemed to be moving.

"Only angels _are_ supposed to be able to do that, and that is only by God's grace and authority. It is simply unfathomable how something like this could have occurred." Castiel muttered utterly distressed, brushing aside torn plastic hanging from a fire escape.

"Well that certainly changes things. Something big, bad, and mysterious has set our greatest opponent free to chase after us with a ton of his scary demon henchmen." Kallie summed up, her voice nonchalant but her expression strained before adding sarcastically, "Awesome."

Castiel gave her a strange look, but didn't comment looking back at her briefly at hearing the faintest quiver in her voice. "We just have to keep moving."

Kallie met eyes with him an idea striking her for the first time, "Wait, what are you still doing here? You can get out of this easily. Why haven't you disappeared already?"

Castiel didn't look back as he replied with a distant voice, "My escape is not crucial, yours is. I have to get you out of here."

Kallie's brow furrowed in confusion, "What are talking about, not crucial?! You are a freaking angel of the lord! You perform his will; you save people and awaken others like me."

"This is his will, I'm saving you. It's my goal and desire, nothing else matters now." Castiel said forebodingly as his light green eyes darkened with worry.

Kallie hesitated ever so slightly as they passed beneath a flickering light bulb, illuminating her long brown hair with a grim light, making her tanned skin look sallow and unhealthy, "What are you saying?"

The angel looked back anxiously at his charge, his blonde brown hair appearing golden in the light, "Kallie, please we must keep moving."

Kallie haltingly resumed their hurried pace at the insistence of the tugging of Castiel's hand that she held, but still on guard from his veiled implications, "You didn't answer me."

"That's because I can't." He breathed, turning onto yet another alley.

But Kallie had a feeling she knew everything he wasn't telling her, "You plan on sacrificing yourself, don't you?"

Castiel's face went hard, still after all these years unaccustomed to the waves of emotions that swept through human bodies before finally declaring quietly, "If I have to."

"No! You can't!" Kallie couldn't help but shout, "You are far more valuable than I could ever be."

"Not quite," was all Castiel could respond.

"That's impossible! How does an angel rank below me?!" Kallie yelled uncontrollably.

"You are a Warrior of God, a handpicked soldier chosen to help lead in God's army against the demon threat that lay waiting to engulf the world. The infernal forces must not be allowed to destroy you and your kind." Castiel said calmly despite the enormity of his words.

"But I would be nothing if you hadn't come along and trained me and guided me and shown me how to harness and reach the full holy potential of the powers God has gifted me! How would the army of God fare without you?" Kallie asked, coming apart more and more with each word she spoke.

Castiel pulled her into a small store room just off the alley they were traversing to look straight into her dark blue eyes, "Kallie, it will be alright. There are other angels all equipped and prepared to train more warriors. I'm sure any other angel could have prepared you as adequately as I have."

Despite her wishes, tears began to well up in the young warrior's eyes, as she stepped closer to her guardian, "No they couldn't have! You're different! You have compassion! You feel!"

At this point she was inches from him, a tear rolling down her cheek. He wiped it away gently, pulling up her chin so she would look him in the eye and whispered gently, "That's because you taught me."

Then he pulled her closer, his green eyes drinking in her face as if she were the only thing in the universe that mattered before meeting her lips with his. And they embraced as if this truly were, as they feared, their last, her hands running through his hair as his found her back, caressing and calming.

When a loud crash sounded from the alley, the two broke apart immediately, still holding hands, their eyes jumping to the open doorway.

Castiel moved in front of her as if to shield her and whispered urgently, "Kallie, run."

"No, not unless you are coming too!" Kallie shot back stubbornly clutching him tighter.

"Kallie, it's the only way. You can still escape if I hold them off." He insisted turning around to push her in the direction of the door at the other end of the room.

"I can't just leave you! You trained me to fight, to stand up against the forces of Hell. Now you are just telling me to run! I can't do that!" She said headstrong looking him right in the eyes as if to challenge him.

In a very human gesture, Castiel rolled his eyes and said meeting her hard gaze, "You stubborn little girl, we can't win this by bravery and courage alone, there are too many!"

Sounds in the alley told them that the demons were very close and that they didn't have much time. Finally, desperate, Castiel grabbed her hand and strode towards the door, quickly entering into a large and expansive warehouse, his eyes wide with concern and worry, scanning the area for any feasible escape routes or places to hide telling her, "Hurry, they're almost here."

"What can we do when they reach us?" Kallie asked an ounce of fear and panic seeping through her calm manner.

"Pray." He answered, dead serious.

"And if that fails?" She questioned as the two hurried through the tall shelves piled high with unmarked boxes, trying to reach the door to the outside.

Castiel met her eyes for a moment before saying, "I want you to promise me that you will run as far as you can away from me, find any type of cover and close your eyes."

Her eyes grew wide with utter and complete fear, her voice cracking as she spoke, "Castiel…I….I- I don't think I can do that."

"Promise me." The angel implored his usually soft voice rough with desperation.

She stared at him mesmerized, the tears returning, "Alright, I promise."

Castiel nodded and the two resumed their hurried walk. The pair had just reached the external door when a sinister metallic bang sounded from the store room they had vacated.

"Run!" Castiel beckoned, throwing open the door, and rushing her outside before following and closing the door behind him loudly. The warehouse building was located on the outskirts of Dart, a city that had prospered during the oil boom but had since fallen into disuse and shady reputations leading the street they came out onto to be completely devoid of legal life for several blocks all around. The two were in the middle of the potholed street when the warehouse door flew open, falling off of it's hinges completely as eerie smoke poured out of the warehouse. Kallie knew things were at an end, that there was no escaping this time.

This would not end well.

_Have heart, my dear_  
_We're bound to be afraid_  
_Even if it's just for a few days_  
_Making up for all this mess_

_Light up, light up_  
_As if you have a choice_  
_Even if you cannot hear my voice_  
_I'll be right beside you, dear._

_Run- Snow Patrol_

**Author's Note: Okay, so first chapter's done, what did you think?**

**And all of my chapters have songs that may have helped inspire me but the story is not based on these songs. Run by Snow Patrol however is kind of a guiding influence, a song i think fits the story's arc very well. it is my favorite song in the world after all. hee hee. let me know what you think about my song choices please! **

**if you want more, please review. and if you don't i will send my boyfriend Cas after you (and NOT in a good way, trust me.)**

**-Fin out.**


	2. Forsaken

**Disclaimer: I don't own Azazel or the show or -sniff sniff- Castiel, but I do own Kallie!**

**Author's Note: Okay, I'm back! thanks to those who reviewed! i really appreciate it. i know this story is a little out there, but i wanted something different than all the other Castiel/OC stories. so this is what i got.**

**oh and there is a mild spot of cursing, in this, but trust me it is not a regular occurence, i just couldn't think of anything else she could say that would fit.**

**I know this chapter is a little intense, but i hope you like it, i worked really hard on it, and it was hard for me to write. so please review!**

**on with the story!**

______

_Now the day has come  
We are forsaken  
There's no time any more  
Life will pass us by  
We are forsaken  
We're the last of our kind_

_The sacrifice  
Was much too high  
Our grief just made us all go blind  
We tried to hide what we fear inside  
Today is the end of tomorrow_

_Forsaken- Within Temptation_

"Run!" Castiel beckoned, throwing open the door, and rushing her outside before following and closing the door behind him loudly. Kallie heeded his advice and the two rushed out into the deserted potholed road. They were halfway across when the warehouse door flew open, falling off of it's hinges completely as eerie smoke poured out of the warehouse.

Kallie kept running and was at the sidewalk when she realized Castiel was no longer with her. Horrified, she turned back to see him still in the middle of the road, "Castiel! Come on!"

He did not respond but held out a hand to tell her to stay where she is, keeping his eyes fixed on the doorway they had just exited. More worried than she had ever been, she looked on as well as a threatening silhouette stepped out of the smoke causing all of the lamps on the street to start to flicker. But the pair didn't need light to know who this menace was, the yellow-eyed demon, Azazel. He was in a different body from the last time they faced him, but there was no mistaking the cool confidence exuding from the man, or haunting yellow eyes. The demon made his way to the edge of the sidewalk almost seeming to not care about the couple facing him in defensive positions. Then, finally, tauntingly he met Castiel's threatening green gaze with a slight smile playing across his thin lips, "Ah, Castiel. It's been awhile. I assume you're still your' precious lord's pet."

His gaze grim, Castiel held his ground, and spoke clearly across the distance, showing no fear, "I assume someone saved your spot in the pit for your' imminent return."

Azazel chuckled, undaunted, wagging a finger at the angel as if he were a small boy, "Oh, Castiel, I must admit, for an angel, you've always had a great sense of humor. I see you are still hoping to survive this encounter."

"I see you are still underestimating the power of the lord." Was all Castiel replied.

"Just as he clearly underestimates my strength. Because for what other reason would he only send a lone angel and a barely trained she-warrior? No offense sweetie, I'm sure you're a peach." Azazel finished condescendingly, leaning to see Kallie from far behind the angel.

She met his smile by looking daggers at him and replying with an acidic tone, "None taken, I'm sure you're a son of a bitch."

Azazel laughed once more, "Ooh, she's feisty, you did a hell of a job with Casty, I'm sure my demons will just eat her up."

Castiel moved protectively to block her from the demon's view once more and full on glared at him, "They won't get the chance. The Lord commands your banishment, his word compels you, you have not the power to resist."

Azazel cocked his head to the side, undisturbed by Castiel's words of warning, "I think not. You see, my master wants me here, so here I'll stay. You on the other hand will be leaving quite soon."

As he spoke he moved slowly from right in front of the darkened warehouse entrance, where shapes were moving in the smoke. Kallie took a step forward, but Castiel held out his hand again, causing her to stop, and he whispered just so she could hear him, "Kallie, don't let him get to you. Just remember your promise."

She opened her mouth to speak but he held out his hand again so she closed her mouth. Meanwhile, across the street Azazel stood with his eyes closed but the two could tell he was communicating with his demons as the shadows behind him began to move in a restless frenzy.

"He's about to order the attack, just be ready to run when I tell you to." Castiel ordered fervently.

Kallie took another step forward a horrified expression on her face, "Castiel-"

But the angel cut her short as it appeared the demon was finishing his communication, and looked back at her with an intense expression on lighting his features, "Just do it."

He met her worried gaze again before turning back to face Azazel at the moment he reopened his eyes, with a smug look on his face, "Time's up kiddos, hope you've said your prayers."

Then the yellow eyed demon stepped forward as his minions erupted from the smoky doorway. They darted in all directions, some in the shapes of possessed humans and other beasts, others incorporeal as swirling shadows. They converged around Castiel seeing him as the main threat but Kallie still had enough trouble to deal with. Confident with his upper hand, Azazel covered the remaining distance between himself and the horde of minions encircling Castiel, "So tell me Casty, how did you think this was going to end when you knew it was me chasing you?"

Castiel responded evenly with all the authority of an angel of the lord, "The ending of today is inconsequential compared to the Lord's plans for the future."

Azazel look straight into Castiel's unyielding eyes, at his utter sincerity and for the briefest of moments, he appeared shaken. Then the moment was gone and he shrugged it off with a knowing grin, replying "Is that the angel crap the archangels tell you so you don't mind so much when you lose?"

Castiel didn't respond, but continued to stare coldly back at his enemy.

"It doesn't matter anyway what you believe because you will be out of my way very soon. It's time to put an end to you and your future meddling."

To hear such a proclamation so boldly and so plain was shocking to Kallie and it took her off guard for a moment before she recovered and retorted sarcastically, "What do we look like to you, the Scooby Gang?"

But Kallie could tell by the steely yellow gaze Azazel fixed on her that the time for jokes and banter was clearly over, and spoke with such menacing authority that it sent a chill down Kallie's spine, "Enough."

The air seemed to buzz with the tension of the coming fight, and a cold fear clutched at Kallie's heart. She searched through the crowd of demons separating her from Castiel until she finally found his face. He didn't look afraid, merely determined and slightly worried. Then his voice began to echo in Kallie's head _The time has come to fulfill your promise, when I give the signal, run and don't look back. Run._

Frantic and scared at his words she thought briefly of disregarding her word and staying beside him, using God's fire within her to take out as many demons as she could but the infallible presence of the Lord's Angel saw these thoughts and was displeased, _Don't Kallie. I have to keep you safe. You must leave or all of your training would have been for nothing. Please run, please. Don't let your pride kill you._

Still resisting Castiel's plan, she thought back fiercely as Castiel began commanding his soldiers once more, _It wouldn't be my pride, but my love._

She could almost hear Castiel sighing in frustration, as he responded unwaveringly, _I love you too which is why you must leave. You gave me your word, you must run. We are almost out of time._

And just as that thought resounded in her head, Azazel looked up with the most terrifying expression Kallie had ever seen, "Let's end this."

"Now Kallie!" Castiel shouted throwing a hand in her direction blasting all of the demons around her with holy energy and throwing Kallie back 20 feet. Seeing how serious Azazel and Castiel both were, she questioned no more and ran as far as she could away from the confrontation in the road. When she was 300 feet away, she dared a glance back to the fight.

Demons and humans alike converged around Castiel almost completely blocking him from view but she could see forms crumpling to the ground and being thrown free of the circle and she knew Castiel was still fighting though the sight horrified her. Then she saw that a few demons were following her, their eyes pure black. Driven on by the sight of Castiel surrounded by demons she unleashed some of her holy potential on her pursuers and watched as they fell to the ground dead and exorcised. Regretting the loss of the possessed she comforted herself by remembering that most don't survive exorcisms anyway. Then a tinge of light caught her eye from the swarm of demons. Kallie recognized the glow of holy angel energy getting released instantly and realized what Castiel was doing.

With tears forming in her eyes, Kallie turned back around and ran as fast as she possibly could, spotting an open abandoned building 50 feet ahead, praying that she would reach it in time. As the entire street before her began to glow and she could feel her hair begin to sizzle, she hurled herself through the doorway, slamming the door shut behind her and throwing herself to the ground in the tornado drill position in the bottom shelf on the shelf by the door, between two windows. Just then she could hear an explosion from down the street as all of the windows on the street shattered and doors blew off their hinges. As the explosion reached her and blew through the door she had closed, Kallie could _just_ hear in the chaos of the release of heavenly energy, Castiel's true voice calling her name. She could feel him in every inch of her being as the light washed through her and just for that second, she felt warm, and held and safe. Then the light faded leaving Kallie with a feeling of inescapable emptiness and cold.

Shuddering, Kallie uncurled herself from her position in the bottom of the shelf and crawled her way out. After a moment she found her way unsteadily to her feet. In a perfect opposite to a minute before, there was no noise but instead eerily silent. Fear pounding through every cell of her body, she shakily made her way out to the destroyed street. She looked without being to help it to the other end of the street and saw a large crater taking up the entire width of the street. She knew what she would find but could not help but have to see it for herself. Numbly she walked forward, in no hurry to see the contents of the crater. As the distance between her and the site of destruction closed, time ceased to matter for Kallie because she was completely sure of what the crater would mean for her.

After an undetermined infinity, the comparatively young warrior for God found herself at edge of the crater. Taking in a deep breath to steel herself, Kallie began to pick her way down the uneasy flooring of the crater, passing mounds of sizzling flesh of the dead demon, but Kallie couldn't smell it, she felt as if all of her senses were shutting off one by one in response to what she had yet to admit to herself. The dead became more numerous as Kallie continued her dissent toward the center she was perversely drawn to. Though the bodies were almost unrecognizable, and it would seem impossible to rule it out, Kallie just _knew_ that Azazel was not gone. It would be just too easy. Just as she was contemplating that grim fact, Kallie found herself in the middle and it was almost more than she could take. She didn't know what she had expected when she began this morbid errand but it had not been this.

There, lying in the exact center was Daniel's body. It was whole and untouched but Kallie just knew that he was dead by the way he lay far too still and the unchanging gaze of his dim green eyes. Kallie fell to her knees, the weight of this crashing down on her all at once. Castiel was gone, of that Kallie had no doubts. She had known it the instant the light had disappeared. Kallie had never felt more alone than this moment, surrounded by dead demons beside the dead body of a kind Christian man who had given everything he had to serve the lord and became a vessel of an angel. The emptiness assailed her again as she comprehended exactly what the explosion had cost. The tears flowed freely down her face and onto Daniel's chest.

Then a dim glow lit the street as beams of light lit upon Kallie, she looked up, hopeful for the smallest of seconds that Castiel had returned, but then she realized that it was only dawn. Resigned, she stood, the tears stopping and in the far distance she could hear sirens and cars approaching. It was then Kallie realized that in her grief, she had stayed too long. She turned and made to leave but found that she couldn't. She looked down to the ground, at Daniel's empty vessel, and realized she couldn't leave him there.

Kallie had no idea later how exactly she managed to transport Daniel, who was in fact larger than her out of the city and to her car in such a short period of time, but there was a lot of things about that day that made no sense and she tried not to dwell on them. She knew Daniel in fact had family in Pennsylvania but she had no idea where. Kallie couldn't stand to think about what had actually happened and so in a way, she shut down, going into automatic, knowing she could never explain Daniel's death to any police, hospital, morgue or funeral home, so she instead gave him a hunter's burial somewhere quiet and isolated in a grave dug by her own labor with a wooden cross placed above his grave. Once her last task was done, and the truth of what happened threatened to engulf her, Kallie submerged, banishing everything that tormented her and reducing her to the most basic of who she was, she got back behind the wheel of her 1960's Mini Clubman and began to drive and didn't stop for a very long time.

__

Well we thought we were gaining  
We turned back the time  
It still slips away  
Our time has run out  
Our future has died  
There's no more escape

_Now the day has come_  
_We are forsaken this time_

_Forsaken-Within Temptation_

**Author's Note: Okay, I know that that chapter was a little intense and a lot sad, but remember, that was Cas's vessel before Jimmy Novak. Jimmy Novak, will appear in this story, so don't worry. and as for the Winchesters, they'll be showing up within the next couple cahpters, so it'll be okay.**

**please review, i worked really hard on this chapter, and was actually very difficult to write, so please tell me what you thought!**

**Do you like Kallie, or are you just reading this for Cas? just give me your opinion.**

**okay, review and i will send you a big virtual cake!**

**-Fin**


	3. Death Came and Got Me

**Author's Note: Hey guys I am back! i'm sorry i took so ling, life's been really nuts lately. thank you to those of you who have favorited, added me to alerts and reviewed. big shout out to JediPrincess-Knight for reviewing, you get a virtual cookie!**

**okay please bear with me through this chapter, i PROMISE the next chapter is tons better. this chapter just had to be done and it was very hard for me to write so please give me some feedback.**

"_I can't, I can't stop crying,_

_everyday I'm so afraid afraid of dying…_

_Who cares anyway? _

_Cuz when it's over it's all over  
And what you gained you throw away__"_

_Death Came and Got Me- Rosie Thomas  
_

_**Six Months Later**_

"I'm going to be late getting home today Kallie, so _please_ don't stay up for me. And apparently the caterers are actually invited to eat as well as stay at this shindig so you don't have to leave out something, I really will be fine!" the voice of Kallie's cousin floated through the two storey apartment as she climbed the stairs up to where Kallie sat painting in the studio.

"M'kay." Kallie called back vaguely.

"And could you please consider leaving the house for a little while?" her cousin pleaded from the doorway of the room Kallie occupied, "I hate that you are always cooped up here while I leave you alone all the time."

Kallie looked up from the grey landscape she was painting, "Clara, I will be fine. And it is not being cooped up if I stay here of my own choice."

"I know," Clara allowed running a hand through her eccentric short copper hair until it flew out around her head until it they looked a bit like feathers flying in the wind as she eased herself onto the daybed next to Kallie's easel, "But you know I do worry about you. You used to always be out doing exciting things. You spent most of your childhood in Africa on mission trips with your dad for goodness sake! And after that you attended college in Europe before you finally came back to do your 'back roads of America' tour. I really don't think after all that travel it is normal or healthy for that matter for you to spend all of your time here in this tiny room in my little flat painting depressing landscape after depressing landscape."

Kallie sighed and put down her brush, looking her cousin in her golden eyes, "Clara, I know that you are worried about me, but honestly, this is really what I need. Don't you think after all those years on the road and never staying in the same place twice that this is exactly what I need? Maybe it is refreshing to just be here with you."

"Maybe," Clara allowed, "but it just isn't like you. Don't get me wrong, I've loved having you here these last six months, it _is_ nice to be able to know where you are from day to day but I would be a tad happier if you would just at least pretend to live a little, would ya?"

Kallie raised an eyebrow but gave in, "Alright, I'll go to the park this afternoon, satisfied?"

"Not nearly," Clara said dangerously as she stood and made to leave, "But it's a start."  
Just as Clara was about to leave she shot one last glance at the grey rainy painting her cousin was working on and suggested, "And could you maybe add some color to your paintings, eh cuz?"

Kallie didn't say anything but Clara hadn't expected her to; she had made that request many times before, all to no effect. So without another word Clara left the small guest room that her cousin had converted into an art studio, and descended the staircase shaking her head. She hadn't been lying before, she had missed her cousin and as nice as it was having Kallie there with her, this new somber roommate wasn't the Kallie she had missed. Clara knew something had been up when she had shown up six months ago with dirt covering her clothes and face with a dark expression and empty eyes. Clara had remembered that Kallie had been on her five year back roads tour with some guy named Castiel, but Kallie was alone now and didn't mention him once so she knew he had something to do with her transformation. Clara wished that she could just sit her cousin down and find all the answers she needed but she knew better than to do that to Kallie. She figured that Kallie kept silent for a reason and that it would only make things worse. So she had simply been forced to watch as Kallie became less and less like herself as her months went by. Kallie had asked for a place to say and of course Clara had let her not only because Kallie was her only cousin but because her previous long time roommate had just been married the month before so she had some empty rooms. Clara missed the old Kallie so much: the young girl full of adventure, determination, courage and spunk. Whenever Kallie would visit between her long trips she would have the most colorful artworks that she had painted or drawn on the road. All of her artworks had been so vibrant and unique, but now her artworks were repetitious, dreary, and unspectacular.

Once when Clara woke up in the middle of the night 5 months ago in the pursuit of a glass of water she'd seen that the light in the studio was on. Careful to not to make any noises, Clara had peaked in and seen Kallie in front of a painting. The painting was gorgeous and dark and depicted a man sprawled at the bottom of a crater just before dawn. Clara longed to go in and just stare at the mesmerizing painting but then she noticed Kallie sat bawling before it. Clara had known then that this was not something Clara had ever been meant to see. She also had a gut feeling that this mysterious picture had something to do with Kallie's change but she had never had the heart to ask Kallie about it or ever admit that she had seen it.

Clara was scared for Kallie, plain and simple, but she didn't know what to do. Her younger cousin used to speak with such purpose and determination and life when they would talk on the phone but now…Clara was lucky to get a full conversation out of her. But then Clara's cell phone alarm rang telling her she had been musing for far too long, with one last fleeting look in the mirror, Clara called farewell to her stoic cousin upstairs and then rushed out the door.

Upstairs, Kallie breathed out, not necessarily a sigh of relief at her cousin final departure but at being alone again. She put the finished canvas on the floor leaning against the wall and mounted a new canvas. Things were much easier when she was alone, she didn't have to pretend to be halfway normal, she didn't have to engage in playful banter, and didn't have to keep her guard up. Kallie almost preferred being alone even if it was painful at times when the memories overwhelmed her; memories of good times, of times spent frantic on the hunt, and of times that broke Kallie's heart.

Kallie almost felt like she had lost her purpose, lost her drive, lost everything that had gotten her up in the morning, the only reason she got up sometimes was to keep Clara happy. Kallie looked up, paying attention for the first time on the new work she had started. Horrified, she saw the beginnings of a grimy alleyway, the product of the dark direction of her thoughts. Hurriedly, she took the canvas off and put it in the disposing pile before leaving the room quickly. Stopping at the window down the hall, she took in a deep breath, disturbing the wind chime that hung delicately on the curtain rod. Then the wind chime shook harder through the open window as the sun's raise blinded her eyes, for a horrible moment she was reminded of the instant Castiel's presence drowned her and it was almost more than she could take. She needed to leave, to move, to run, to feel the ground disappear underneath her as the world blew past her in a blur. She stayed in the apartment just long enough to slip shoes and socks on, throwing her hair up in a messy ponytail only caring enough to grab her cell and house key before leaving.

She began running as soon as she was out of the apartment with no course or destination in mind; she simply needed to be gone. When her weary limbs finally begged for rest, Kallie found herself at the park which was where she ended up most days she did this. She didn't love many things these days, but Kallie sure loved this park. It was almost completely forest with a small lake in the middle. It was wholly serene and exactly what Kallie needed most days. Closest to the parking lot were the normal park things with playgrounds where all of the young children congregated, but the deeper in you went and the crowds would disperse. Kallie had found herself her own little sanctuary that no one else had located to her knowledge.

It lay in the middle of the thickest copse of trees in the woods and was completely sheltered. And by far Kallie's favorite part about it was the large tree stump right in the middle of the small clearing. Using her warrior instincts, Kallie traversed the trees with ease, climbing them and using the branches to navigate her way to her sanctuary. Landing easily on her feet two feet from the stump, Kallie began to feel at peace once more.

Feeling as though the air was returning to her lungs, Kallie sat on the stump and closed her eyes, she always felt as though things didn't hurt so bad here. Anticipating the sweet relief of the oblivion her clearing always gave her, she was almost shocked off of her stump when a blinding light surrounded her and filled her very core as a heavenly voice spoke to her. Images flashed through her head of hunting missions past, and the suffering she prevented by what she used to do. Then more faces filled her internal field of vision, images of people suffering, strangers she had never seen and it all made her heart ache, these were clearly the people left in danger and sorrow since she had stopped fulfilling her holy destiny, since she had stopped being a warrior. _Wake up_, the all empowering voice demanded of her, _You__ are being called to continue fulfilling your destiny; you have been resting for far too long. Your pain will heal, but you must return to your calling once more, you have forsaken it in your grief. You must return to the cause, dear child of God. God still loves you._

Then the light was gone and the images with it, Kallie hadn't realized until she opened her eyes that the visions had made her cry, then she stood and whispered aloud, "Yes, I will. Where I'm sent I will go."

And with that, Kallie left the clearing and returned to her house, her path now clear before her.

_Later That Night _

When Clara arrived home that night she fully expected even after all of her protests against such an action, to see Kallie sitting in the small sitting room with a single lamp on curled up with a book. But Kallie was not there at all, which was, needless to say, a shock. But the lamp was still on where Kallie had always sat, and Clara knew something was different and had a gut feeling that Kallie hadn't just left the room. Dropping her coat and purse off at the nearest arm chair, she drew closer to Kallie's chair and saw that sitting right where she normally would was a letter. Before Clara even picked it up, she knew what it would say, knew that Kallie was gone from the house. But still, Clara read it dutifully and knew everything was all right. There was more purpose within those words on the page then in everything Kallie had said the entire time Kallie had stayed with Clara. Kallie would be going back on the road, back to where she belonged, and Clara was okay with that. _Call me,_ the letter implored, and Clara would, just not at this late hour. Though she would miss her cousin's presence in her apartment and her life, she knew this was exactly what Kallie needed. And with a satisfied smile on her face, Clara lay down on the couch, far too exhausted for the trek upstairs and fell asleep instantly, so relieved that she didn't even notice the new painting of a smiling girl sitting on a tree stump bathed in light hanging above the fireplace.

"_Death already came and got me.  
So i'm not living; I'm not living anyway_

_Who cares anyway?_

_Cuz when it's over all that matters_

_Is the love you gave away"_

_Death Came and Got Me- Rosie_

**okay, remember, it is all uphill from here, it will only get better. Sam and Dean are in the next chapter and now Kallie's healing. please please review despite how sad the chapter was. i was trying to be realistic and i skipped ahead six months because i would never force anyone to go through the whole long depression period.**

**please review! and let me know what you think of Clara! i love Clara. what do you think?**

**-Fin**


	4. Collide

**Disclaimer: To all of you awesome people out there who think I could possibly own the brilliance that is Supernatural, I am afraid that you are woefully mistaken.**

**I am back! Yay! And I bring with me the awesomeness that is the Winchesters! I hope you like this chapter, I know I do!**

**Please let me know what you think!**

**Special kudos to walking primrose for making me super happy and all of the other awesome people who gave feedback namely ImmatureEvil, xXsynXzackyXloverXx, and Dreaming in Grey. All of you rock and I thank you profusely! I am sending all of you virtual chocolate and a nice big chocolate Easter bunny for walking primrose! I couldn't do this without you guys!**

Onto the story!

"_I'm quiet you know, You make a first impression;  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

Even the best fall down sometimes, Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time, I somehow find, You and I collide."

_Collide- Howie Day_

_Nine Months Later_

"Where the hell is my backup?!" Dean yelled angrily as he struggled against his female vampire assailant, trying to keep the beast away from his neck.

"A little busy, Dean." Sam retorted as he fought a vampire of his own trying desperately to decapitate the bloodsucker.

Dean managed to throw his opponent off of him and grab his knife from its sheath in his boot, charging his opponent, before she could regain her balance. The vampire was too quick however and met Dean with a ferocious growl exposing her fangs seizing the front of his jacket and hurling him across the room and into Sam and his opponent. Sam rose quickly and helped Dean up just before the male vampire threw himself at Dean, who punched the creature in the face leaving Sam to face down the female leader. Sam held out his knife in a threatening manner as the woman drew closer.

"Very scary Sam, but I think I've got something a bit more threatening." She said in mock fear.

Sam shook his bangs out of his face so as to see his opponent better, "Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Backup." She responded terrifyingly as she slid her fangs out.

Sam looked around and saw four vampires out the windows and three more coming from some of the various doorways into where they were.

Dean just managed to decapitate his attacker and joined Sam in the middle of the room standing back to back with his brother.

"Got any more big ideas, genius?" Dean muttered as the vampires outside broke the window and began climbing in began advancing.

"Dean." Sam said in a reproving tone as if he resented being blamed for their situation.

"I thought you said that she he troops wouldn't be able to find her 'til sunrise." Dean continued to remind his brother as they began parrying blows from the vile creatures.

"They shouldn't have. She must have a stronger pull on her creations then we thought." Sam responded as he threw a male vampire who rushed him back out the window.

"Gee, ya think!" Dean responded eloquently as all eight vampires began overwhelming the brothers until they were completely surrounded.

The vamps grabbed the duo and took away their weapons and parted slightly to allow their queen unrestricted access to her prey.

The queen smugly advanced, reaching forward to stroke Dean's face in a hungry, possessive way, luxuriating in the moment, "The mighty Winchesters, mine at last."

"Hardly." A curt female voice responded from the front door as she launched an array of arrows soaked in dead man's blood. The queen hissed as she and five of her minions fell to the ground, paralyzed.

With their primary captors incapacitated, Dean and Sam quickly took back their knives and took out the remaining henchmen. The girl had since entered the room slaying the vamps that lay on the floor, saving the leader for last. The Winchesters' rescuer made to behead the queen when she felt Dean's hand on her arm, staying her blade,

"Please, allow me." Dean asked, indicating the vamp that had caused him such grief the last week.

"She's all yours." The girl allowed stepping back and cleaning her short sword on the out-of-date curtains.

While Dean slayed the last of the vampires, Sam made his way over to the girl, clearing his throat, feeling awkward, "Listen, I don't mean to be ungrateful or anything what with your great timing and all but I have to ask, who are you? How did you find us?"

"No its okay, I completely understand, can't be too careful with filth like this running around." She said indicating the dead vampires, as she sheathed her blade and extended a hand, "My name's Kallie, Kallie St. James."

"Nice to meet you Kallie," Sam responded meeting her hand with a firm grip, "I'm Sam and this is-"

"Dean, I know who you guys are." Kallie cut him off nodding to Dean by way of greeting as the eldest brother came to Sam's side. "And I know this is going to sound weird but I was sent to help you."

Dean looked at Sam then back to Kallie with a skeptical eyebrow raised, "You're right, that does sound weird. Sent by whom?"

Kallie shook her head quickly and answered, "That doesn't matter right now, I've been looking for you two for months; I was almost afraid I wouldn't find you guys in time."

"In time for what?" Sam asked, overriding Dean's persistence to find his answer.

"In time for this." Kallie answered simply motioning around the room.

"Wait a minute," Dean said impatiently as if he was struggling to wrap his mind around something, "You knew this was going to happen? What are you, psychic or something? You've been seein' visions of us or something?"

"Listen, I'm not psychic, but I did know what might have happened if I wasn't here tonight." Kallie saw Dean's mouth begin to open and cut him off before he could start, "the how isn't important, just know that a very important someone is looking out for you."

"Let me get this straight," Sam began trying to make sense of everything their new acquaintance had just told him, "You've been following us the last few months in order to prevent us from being killed by vampires on orders from someone very important whom you won't tell us about. Is that it?"

Kallie cocked her head to the side as if adding up what Sam had said, "Yep, sounds about right."

Dean suddenly snapped, having an epiphany pointing at Kallie energetically, "See look, I told you I felt like someone was following us."

Sam looked at his brother incredulously, "Yeah and you also said you were pretty sure it was big, bad and was out to get us."

Dean looked a little stunted but recovered quickly though not nearly as confidently as before, "Yeah but I was still right about getting followed."

Kallie ignored this and moved the conversation swiftly on, walking around the boys heading to the door, "Okay, I assume you two are booked at the cheapest motel in town, I'll follow you and we'll talk more in the morning, it's been a long day."

"Hold up," Dean stopped her with a suspicious gleam in his eye, "We don't even know you."

Kallie rolled her eyes, "I thought we've already been over this. I'm Kallie St. James the girl who just saved your butt."

"Yeah but even demons have helped us take out other nasties on occasion if it gets them on our good side, how do we know that's not what your doing?" Dean asked on guard now.

Kallie narrowed her eyes darkly, "On account of the fact that we just met I'm going to let that offensive remark slide this once. But if I were a demon would I be wearing this?" Kallie pulled out a pure silver cross necklace from under her shirt, "or do this?" Kallie pulled a small flask from her coat pocket and poured some on her hand.

"Holy water." Kallie explained revealing the cross on her flask before returning it to her pocket. "I'm here to help you, you idiot, not to be accused of being a hell beast."

Before Dean could get a chance to say something he was sure to regret, Sam stepped between them and placated Kallie by saying, "Okay, so you are obviously human, but why are you helping us?"

"Do you not believe it possible that good things happen to good people?" Kallie asked, truly curious looking at each with such curiosity.

"Don't know how you've been living, lady but that hasn't typically been our experience. If there's a God, I don't think he likes us."

Looking almost horrified, Kallie asked completely sincere, "You surely can't believe that, can you?"

"Sure I can," Dean responded, "God is probably wouldn't care too much if anything happened to us, heck he probably doesn't even care about us period."

From the intense look in Kallie's eyes she disagreed greatly and returned to right in front of the boys, "We shall see, oh ye of little faith."

And with that, Kallie placed both her middle and pointer fingers on both of the Winchesters forehead and closed her eyes. With a gust of wind all three were gone from the small damaged cabin in the woods leaving only disintegrating vampire bodies in their wake.

"_Even the best fall down sometimes, Even the wrong words seem to rhyme,  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind: I somehow find, You and I collide._

_Don't stop here; I lost my place, I'm close behind."  
Collide- Howie Day_

**Okay, so…what did you think? Did you like my portrayal of the boys?**

**I really hope you did. I worked real hard on it.**

**Oh and I'm looking for a beta, I lost mine to a big new fancy job and now I am at a loss, so please let me know if you would be interested and reliable!**

**Okay people keep in mind that this is a total different way that I am writing, I'm not used to jumpin in time, I usually just stick to one continuum. So this is new for me but this is how the story plays out in my head. I hope you like it. **

**Also, feel free to shout out opinions on my songs and song excerpt choices. Again, this is a new thing for me but I really wanted to try it out. Plus so many songs fit what I was trying to say!**

**Just give me lots of opinions and I will be back soon!**

**Love**

**-Fin (that's me!)**


	5. The Call

**Disclaimer: though it nearly kills me to say this, I do not own the hotness that is my boyfriend, Castiel, nor do I own the awesomely attractive Winchester Boys. Pout. I do own Kallie though. And I love her.**

**Thanks to those who added me to their alerts and favs and of course reviewed! It is you who keeps me going. You guys are awesome! Please keep it up guys!**

**And on we go, let's see how the boys will react to the truth of Kallie. **

_Just because everything's changing  
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before  
All you can do is try to know who your friends are  
As you head off to war  
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light  
You'll come back when it's over  
No need to say goodbye_

With only the slightest gust of wind Kallie, Sam and Dean appeared in the brothers' empty motel room. Kallie quickly dropped her hands from Sam and Dean's forehead as the brothers backed away quickly.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Dean exclaimed loudly holding out his hands putting as much distance between him and Kallie as possible, "What the hell did you just do?!"

"It's okay," Kallie said calmly trying to placate the freaked out brothers inching forward slowly.

"That is anything _but_ okay!" Dean yelled.

Sam still not entirely okay either but a tad bit more reasonable stood between the two, "Wait, Kallie, what just happened?"

Kallie crossed her arms, "We were teleported."

"How?" Sam asked.

Taking a deep breath as if to brace herself, Kallie responded, "By the grace of God."

Dean narrowed his eyes in skepticism, "Wanna run that by me again?"

"God willed it and so it was done." Kallie said plainly.

"God willed it?" Dean echoed not hiding his disbelief at all, "Did you hear that, Sam? God willed it."

"Yeah, Dean. I heard." Sam said in a way that clearly indicated he didn't exactly approve of Dean's behavior, "Listen, Kallie, I'd like to believe you, I really would, but you aren't giving us much to go on."

"I know, Sam, but it's really hard to explain." Kallie said earnestly.

"Well try." Dean said indelicately, "I believe you said something about _God_. So what are you, some kind of 'angel' or something?"

"No." Kallie responded resolutely and unyielding, "I am human."

"Great, that _really_ clears things up." Dean said clearly frustrated, slamming himself down on his bed.

"So if you're human, what's your connection with God?" Sam asked, clearly the mediator.

"Besides him being my personal lord and savior, he's also sort of my boss." Kallie explained calmly.

"Your boss?" Dean asked incredulously, "if you're not an angel, what are you?"

"Okay, just remember to have an open mind," Kallie said moving to sit on Sam's bed opposite Dean.

"Oh my mind is wide open, believe me." Dean putting his arms behind his head and leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, I can tell." Kallie said, her voice thick with sarcasm.

"We've seen a lot of crazy things, just tell us; we'll probably understand a lot better than you think." Sam replied, pulling a chair from the kitchen to the foot of the beds and sitting down between them.

"Okay," Kallie muttered taking in a deep breath, "Well here goes nothing."

Dean leaned in despite himself as the brothers focused their entire attention on the strange girl before them.

"Well, there's no easy way of saying this but I am what is called a Warrior of God. And before you say anything Dean, just let me finish." Kallie said without looking at him causing Dean to shut his mouth and lean back, shocked. "Warriors of God are humans selected by God himself to fulfill his work, protect his people and fight the unholy forces of hell. We are awakened and trained by angels who help us realize our holy potential and train us against demons and other unnatural beasts."

There was a moment of silence as the boys absorbed this, Sam recovered first, "So you had no choice, you forced to become like this?"

Kallie shook her head gently, "No, we always have a choice. I was 19 when I was first visited by an angel. The angel told me who he was and who I could be, he made me well aware of the dangers I would face if I went down this path and told me that only I could make this decision. I'd been raised on mission trips with my father in Africa so it was an easy decision for me. I knew my entire life that I wanted to serve the lord. I think that was why I was chosen. Besides I had basically minored in hunting while I was in Africa. You'd be surprised at some of the nasties that those villages attract so while my dad was saving their souls, I would save their lives. I can't imagine doing anything else."

"Well that is just dandy, isn't it? Downright inspirational." Dean said callously, still not fully trusting Kallie.

"Just because you aren't sure of your Christianity doesn't mean you have the right to mock mine." Kallie responded, her voice acidic and her eyes steely.

"Yeah, sure, okay." Dean conceded, "But let me get this straight, if you've been doing nothing but serving God since you were born, what are you doing saving us?"

"You clearly underestimate your value Dean Winchester." Was all Kallie replied.

"Uh huh, while we're at it how is it you know who we are again?" Dean drilled.

Kallie crossed her arms growing weary of Dean's lack of trust, "An angel told me."

"An angel. Perfect. Of course. An angel told you. You hear that Sammy?" Dean turned to his brother.

"Dean knock it off." Sam responded, who found Dean's endless questioning and mocking tiresome.

"No I won't knock it off, Sam. This girl is probably just lying to us trying to distract us from Lilith!" Dean stood, raising his voice.

"Lilith?!" Kallie asked bristled and alarmed, "What do you know of Lilith?"

"Oh not much," Dean said, "except of course that she's the one who holds my contract and wants nothing better than to see my ass in hell."

"Oh this is not good." Kallie muttered clearly afraid.

"Gee ya think?" Dean said at the height of his sarcasm.

"Dean!" Sam warned, then turned back to Kallie, "If you know all about us, how come you don't know about Dean's deal?"

"Because angels aren't exactly the chattiest of creatures; they believe in telling you just enough and nothing more." Kallie quickly explained, "What deal?"

Before Dean could snap back Sam spoke up, "Dean made a deal with a crossroads demon to bring me back to life."

"Damn it!" Kallie yelled, standing up quickly clearly incensed rushing past Sam, pacing, cooling down, she ran her hand through her hair and breathed out slowly, "How long?"

"How long what?" Dean said hedging.

"Do not mess with me Dean Winchester. How long did the demon give you?" Kallie said locking eyes with Dean and finally breaking through Dean's callous defenses.

"One year." Dean replied simply.

"And how long has it been?" Kallie breathed out not looking at the brothers as she continued her pacing.

"Six months." Sam answered.

Kallie stopped slowly and locked eyes with Sam, "Azazel has something to do with this doesn't he?"

"How did you-" Dean started but Sam cut him off.

"Yes he does, I got killed during one of his tests." Sam told Kallie.

"Damn him to the deepest pits of hell!!!" Kallie yelled vehemently.

"You know Yellow Eyes?" Dean asked suddenly curious.

"Let's just say we've had our fair share of run-ins and none of them have ended well for either of us." Kallie explained clear and emotionless.

"So what are we going to do? Are going to help us break Dean's deal?" Sam asked suddenly hopeful.

"I'll certainly try, I don't know if I can though." Kallie said, unsure.

"If you're not here to break the deal, then what are you here for?" Dean asked skeptical once more.

Kallie placed her hands on her hips, "I was sent here to help you, I just didn't have any idea how much help you needed or with what for that matter."

"Well you're working for God, you can definitely help free Dean, can't you?" Sam asked putting his puppy dog eyes to good use.

"I don't know if I can, deals are beyond my ability to break. Besides, we've been trying to catch Lilith for hundreds of years. She is one slippery bitch." Kallie swore.

"Excuse me but if you are working for God, how can you curse?" Sam asked, suddenly wondering.

"Oh, well I'm not supposed to but hanging around hunters while hunting down demons has been a bad influence. Cussing is what you could call my flaw." Kallie answered simply while sitting back down on the bed, losing steam.

"Ah." Was all Sam said as he leaned back in his chair and just looked at Kallie.

"So," Dean began brilliantly, "You're a Warrior for God."

"Yep." Kallie agreed.

"You've been sent by an angel to help us." Dean stated matter-of-factly, no longer doubting, simply clarifying.

"Sounds about right." Kallie responded.

"And Azazel is just about your archenemy." Dean finished.

"Pretty much; yeah." Kallie replied as they lapsed into silence, each just sitting and staring at nothing in particular.

"Okay then," Dean said, breaking the silence and standing up. "I need a beer. You guys need anything?"

"I think I'm good." Sam said, not entirely sure, still absorbing all that he had just learned. "What about you?"

Kallie stood as if waking from a stupor and shook her head, "Nah, I think I'm just gonna head to my room and go to sleep. It's been a long day."

Dean nodded in acceptance, "Okay then, suit yourself."

"Do you need me to drive you?" Sam asked, concerned at seeing her drowsy expression.

"Nah," Kallie responded eloquently indicating next door placing a small hotel key on the table, "I've got the room next to yours, here's the key, come in if you need anything emergency-like. We'll talk in the morning, kay?"

"Sounds good," Sam replied as Dean and Kallie made their way to the door.

Dean opened the door then followed Kallie out. As Kallie extracted her room hey from her pocket Dean leaned against the wall between the two rooms, "You're going to be an unpredictable one, aren't you?"

"You could say that." Kallie replied as she attempted to get the door to actually open.

"Listen," Dean said all intense coming closer to his new acquaintance, "I know you are trying to help but I would really appreciate it if you didn't get Sam's hopes up about breaking this deal. I know there's no way out of it even if my brother doesn't."

Kallie, having finally succeeded in unlocking the door removed her key but didn't open the door. Instead, she turned to face the somber hunter, "You're a practical man, Dean; and I appreciate that, which is why I have to be straight with you. I don't think I can get you out of this. The only thing I know that could is an angel and I don't exactly have a direct phone line with them and I don't know if they would tell me even if I could ask. I promise to help anyway I can because you are a good man and I _know_ you weren't meant for hell, but I definitely can't guarantee anything. I'm actually more afraid of putting Sam down than I am of giving him a false sense of hope. I'm sorry."

As Kallie said all this a sense of hopelessness enter her eyes and her voice and Dean could tell something was wrong. With no warning, Dean placed his hands on her shoulders, "You talk like the world is your responsibility or that this is your fault, but it's not. I got myself into this and there's nothing you could've done to change that. You didn't even know me back then. So just chill out, okay?"

Kallie took a deep breath as Dean took his hands off of her shoulder and continued, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get myself horribly drunk."

"Have fun." Kallie called sarcastically as she let herself into her plain beige room.

Taking off her shoes and other things from the days trek, Kallie thought over how well the meeting with the boys had gone but as soon as she slipped into bed she was dead to the world, once again in her unpleasant memories she visited in sleep.

_**Later That Night**_

The horribly familiar image of a dirty abandoned street vanished as an unyielding light overwhelmed Kallie's unconsciousness. Kallie's unconscious self blinked into the light trying to make sense of the abrupt change her dreams had taken. Suddenly a presence made itself clear in the light, overwhelming all of her senses feeling all the while hauntingly familiar.

"Kallie." The presence spoke and all doubts Kallie had about it were eradicated.

"Castiel?" Kallie asked in wonder.

_It started out as a feeling  
Which then grew into a hope  
Which then turned into a quiet thought  
Which then turned into a quiet word  
And then that word grew louder and louder  
Till it was a battle cry  
I'll come back when you call me  
No need to say goodbye_

_The Call- Regina Spektor_

**DUN DUN DA-DUN!!!!!**

**Hee hee.**

**I loved writing this chapter and the boys. **

**What did you think? Any questions or concerns about the story thus far?**

**If you ever want to know anything about Kallie or just need clarification on something please let me know.**

**Review or you will never see what comes next!!**

**Mwuhahahaha for I am a minion of End Cat and have come to end you and all that you love.**

**Mwuhahaha! Just kidding but please review!**


	6. Blinding

**Disclaimer: Castiel still loves me and the Winchesters are incredibly fond of me but I still do not own them. Boo hoo. I don't own Gabriel either.**

**Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter was extremely easy for me to write and I greatly enjoyed doing so (for obvious reasons) and I really hope you guys will like it to.**

**Kudos to all of you awesome people adding me to both their favorites and story alerts list, I really am flattered and appreciate it greatly. Props to ****LoverPR-SN-HP****, my new Beta for helping me out lately, I am incredibly grateful!**

**Okay on to the lovely Castiel!**

_Seems that I have been held in some dreaming state  
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake  
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber_

_Till I realize that it was you who held me under  
Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids  
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs_

It was Castiel's true visage, she knew it; Kallie just knew it. No one else, mortal or not could affect Kallie so, at the mere pure sight of him, the entire last year seemed little more than a nightmare, and that she was finally awake. But something felt wrong. Everything Kallie had gone through, from meeting the Winchesters to the catatonic time she spent with Clara, was far too vivid to have just been some horrid creation of Kallie's overactive imagination. Then again, Castiel had been known to visit her in her dreams when he couldn't be with her physically, but after losing Cas, she wasn't entirely sure that was possible anymore, so she decided to ask the source.

"Castiel," Kallie cleared her throat half from of the raw emotion that coated her throat and half because she was not sure how to start, "are you really here?"

As she watched, the pure light began to take shape to gain a form and when the light faded to the peripheral Castiel in the form of his old vessel Daniel could be seen. As she watched in wonder at the form of the one she'd lost, a look of great confusion crossed his face. She could see him just like he used to appear when she would ask something he could not understand complete with squished up lines on the bridge of his nose while his eyes narrowed in confusion. For just a second it felt just like the old days.

Kallie long knew that this was a sign for her to elaborate so she did, "I mean, am I actually seeing you in your true form though I happen to be sleeping, or is my head making all this up and you will soon be chased away by some lovely pink elephants and their evil army of hairdresser assassins*?"

Though he appeared to Kallie as Daniel he still spoke in his true voice. Then he laughed, and it was a sound that sent wonderful thrills of delight up and down the length of Kallie's body until all of her felt warm and utterly and completely happy. Castiel may not understand all of Earth humor but he understood all of Kallie. She was the only to have ever made him laugh.

"I'm not quite sure, myself." Castiel responded with a classic Castiel answer, he had a tendency to be unintentionally vague.

"Okay then, forget actual answers." Kallie ran a hand through her brown hair that was washed golden before the angel, and tried a new tack, "How are you?"

"That's irrelevant." Castiel answered simply, taking in every detail of Kallie's face.

Kallie sighed, as she still attempted to figure out if she was making up their conversation or not, and Castiel's answers were not helping at all, "Of course it is. If how you are is irrelevant, then what are you doing here? I hardly think it was just to chat."

Castiel sighed, "I came to see you, though I clearly shouldn't have. It was not easy for me to leave you, even if that is what God intended. I'm weaker that I should be, but I can not be ashamed if it lets me see you, again."

Kallie began to become more and more convinced that this was not just a dream she was experiencing and the hope nearly broke her with all of its shining potential and power to change her life. Kallie took a step forward, embracing her angel as Castiel's mere presence comforted her much like a warm blanket would on a cold day, "I've missed you too. You have no idea how much."

"But I do." Castiel's holy powerful voice spoke right in her ear as his presence surrounded his warrior, "I've been forced to watch but not return since my last mistake, and I fear it has cost you greatly."

"It all seems worth it now, just for this moment." Kallie sighed, happier than she'd been in what felt like decades.

"I am sorry." Castiel breathed softly, his magnificent voice full of pain.

"Stop talking like all of the evil in the world is your fault." Kallie responded trying to wipe out all memory beyond this moment.

"Some of it is though, like your pain. I'm afraid I have to leave again." Castiel told her reluctantly.

Kallie pulled out of Castiel's arms with a look of complete distress on her face, "But why?! Why can't you come back and find another vessel? I'm sure there's some other fool who would love to walk around with an angel inside 'em."

"Kallie, it's not that simple. This is just how it has to be for the moment." Castiel said with his eyes full of sadness.

Trying to fight back tears at the thought of Castiel leaving again, Kallie instead asked, "When will I see you again?"

"I don't know, I'll try again soon but Gabriel won't like it." Castiel answered.

"Well forget about him," Kallie demanded, with no humor in her voice, "why does it even matter to him anyway?"

"Because he fears I've changed too much, that I'm not the dauntless angel I once was. That my love for a human has softened me." Castiel paused as if he were trying to decide whether to go on or not, then continued, "But he's right. It has changed me. I used to smite first, ask questions later but I'm just not sure anymore. I get your voice in my head telling me to think about what I am doing and it overrides whatever supreme order I was given. And the other angels have begun to notice, even worse; Gabriel has started to notice. It's become evident that it is highly unlikely that I will ever be approved for another mission on earth."

Castiel paused allowing Kallie a moment for all that he said to sink in. And Kallie desperately needed it; she needed time to wrap her head around the fact that so many things were happening to her and to him because Castiel fell for her. She began to feel horrible gut wrenching guilt for getting him removed from Earth over such a simple thing like loving her. She worried the world was suffering for their weakness. But with one look at Castiel's face, she knew it had all been worth it. The five years she had spent being trained by Castiel were by far the best, most challenging, exhilarating years of her life. There was no room for regrets when she realized that, so she couldn't say that she was sorry, to tell him she was sorry for their current situation was to say that she was sorry for loving him, that she was sorry he loved her, that she was sorry they broke the rules. And Kallie St. James was not sorry, not for this.

With all of this in mind, she responded carefully and controlled, "So what are you going to do?"

The angel drew in a deep, hesitant breath then answered with a bombshell, "I'm thinking about falling."

Kallie wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it had most certainly not been that; for an angel to fall was both like dying and being born at the same time, it was inexact and always led to dangers. It would lead to a hunt like never before, angels and demons both would seek to find the fallen angel to use him to their best advantage. And as nice as the idea of Castiel being completely human and completely hers enthralled Kallie, she could not allow it, "No."

"No?" Castiel asked, his voice colored by bewilderment.

"No." Kallie repeated, "I absolutely forbid it. it's not just the length the process would take that puts a pause in my step but also the fact that you would never be safe and even if I unleashed all the holy potential I had, there is no way I could keep you safe long enough. You can't do this."

Clearly deterred but listening to her wisdom, he said, "I shall remain as I am. I shall not fall."

Kallie breathed out a deep sigh of relief, feeling a weight disappearing as he agreed with her idea. Then another thought crossed her mind that she had to voice, "Will I get to remember this?"

"Would it make you happy?" Castiel asked because that was all that mattered to him.

"Indescribably." Kallie answered her blue eyes flashing.

Without breaking eye contact he responded, "Then it shall be so."

And just with that, Kallie was completely content for the first time in over a year. Then the atmosphere changed.

Kallie's vision began to shift and she felt as though her mind was being shaken, her vision distorted. Castiel's angelic face assumed an expression of worry, apprehension and fear as if he knew something was coming and whispered almost imperceptibly, "Gabriel."

Beginning to panic slightly at the thought of being separated from Castiel so soon she drew closer, asking, "What is it? What's happening?"

"It's Gabriel. He's found me. He's trying to gain access to here." Castiel explained quickly looking around him as if he expected Gabriel to fall from the sky and attack at any moment.

"Where are we, how could he have found us?" Kallie asked, not fully comprehending what was happening but knowing it was bad.

"This place is not supposed to be findable; it's a sanctuary between dimensions, a place I thought we could meet." Castiel answered still on edge.

"What do we do?" Kallie asked, her eyes flashing from place to place, constantly looking back at Castiel for fear he would disappear.

"There's nothing we can do, I have to get you out of here." Castiel said but before he could do anything Kallie cringed, almost falling to the ground before Castiel steadied her. It felt as though white hot hands were scraping and pounding on her mind and on the edges of her consciousness.

Instantly concerned for the girl he supported with his arms, he asked desperately, "Kallie, what is it?"

One single word summed up the terror that faced them, "Gabriel."

As the angel beat even harder on Kallie's poor mind, Castiel made up his mind, "You are leaving."

Kallie looked up from her pain, sheer panic lighting up her eyes, "Castiel."

"I love you, Kallie." Castiel whispered urgently before he placed a hand on her forehead and sent the warrior of God hurtling back to consciousness.

A feeling of weightlessness of both falling and flying took over Kallie as she was pushed from the sanctuary. As she painfully made her journey back to the world of the awake, she could hear heavenly voices shouting as if from a great distance as Gabriel found Kallie's only love. Not knowing whether or not she could be heard in her current state of transition, Kallie prayed, "Lord, please, dear God. Protect Castiel, keep him safe, do him no harm just for loving me. Know that he still loves you..."

The frantic prayer trailed off as things grew fuzzy and hazy in the split second before her spirit reentered her body as Kallie jerked awake to the Winchesters in her room, concern etched on their faces as they stood over her.

"We heard you screaming." Sam explained as he stood over her before asking intently, "Are you okay?"

Kallie sat up, desperately trying to grasp what had just happened and finding difficulty to remembering, feeling as though some unseen hand was attempting to wipe her mind. Tears in her eyes left over from dreaming, she responded in little more than a whisper, "I hardly know."

_And I could hear thunder and see the lightning crack  
All around the world was waking, I never could go back  
'Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn wide open  
Finally I see, that the spell was broken  
Then all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open  
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone  
No more calling like a crow for a boy for a body in the garden  
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love _

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

_*=I actually had that dream once._

**AN: Okay, that is it! I really loved writing this!**

**Please let me know if you have any questions and especially let me know about anything in this story that really tickles you or that you really enjoyed! Reviews are love so please talk to me people!**

**Remember that reviews make me that much more likely to update quick.**

**Also if you have a problem with anything in the story, I would actually love to hear that too.**

**oh and i know it's not relevent these last few chapter but it will come up later that Ruby does not exist in this story. this is where we come to the AU part of it. as much fun as Ruby is, she interferes with my story arc, so you can kind of think of Kallie as a bit of a replacememnt for Ruby even though she's not a demon.**

**again, i have nothing against Ruby but she just doesn't make sense in this story. it's easier without her. I thought i would throw that out there.**

**Okay that's it!**

**REVIEW!**

**-Fin**


	7. Near To You

**Yay! Another chapter semi-recently. which is impressive considering how absolutely bonkers my life has been.**

**okay, i have to give an outrageous amount of kudos to my beta LoverPR-SN-HP, for helping me out so much with this chapter. she rocks. a big shout out also to I love Sparkly Scars for her amazing review and Rose Winshester for loving my story. everyone else who favorited and subscribed also deserve a big box of chocolate! you guys all rock and i just wanted to thank you all so much!**

**this chapter was an interesting thing to write but i generally enjoyed it! i hope you all do too!**

**and please review!**

_Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you.  
_

_Such pain as this  
Shouldn't have to be experienced  
I'm still reeling from the loss,  
Still a little bit delirious_

"Could you tell me what happened one more time?" Dean's voice asked from the other side of the bathroom door in Kallie's motel room.

"I already told you twice Dean." Kallie yelled back as she took the ring her father gave her for her 16th birthday off of her right ring finger, "I really don't think it's going to get much clearer."

"It still doesn't make much sense." Dean uttered, half to Kallie and half to himself.

"That's the thing about dreams." Kallie tried to explain only half believing her words herself; try as she might she still felt as though it was more than a dream.

Dean obviously did too, "You didn't seem like you were coming out of any old dream though, you sounded as if you were being tortured. Even when Sam has his visions he doesn't sound like that."

Kallie took in a deep breath, distracting herself by examining the necklace Castiel gave her that she normally kept hidden beneath her shirt. The charm was an exquisite pair of silver wings that hung on a delicate silver chain that was infused and fortified by a feather from Castiel's wing, which made the metal seem to glow. This necklace was without a doubt the most sacred object Kallie owned. Something about seeing the wings jogged some sleeping part of her memory. A sudden image of all enveloping light flashed in her mind replaced quickly by Castiel's smiling face in Daniel's form before the feeling of the angel Gabriel entered her mind when it all faded with the sound of majestic laughter sounding in her ears.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Dean's voice asked as she began to hear him again, "Kallie?"

Kallie shook her head as if waking from a dream as she allowed the flashes to wash over her again before responding, "Yeah, I'm here. I think I might have had an epiphany though."

"An epiphany?" Dean's voice sounded doubtful now.

"Give me a sec," Kallie requested as she picked the clothes she had just changed out of off of the small bathroom counter and opened the door.

The first thing she saw was Dean right in front of her where he had been leaning against the door frame. Not expecting this, Kallie jumped, "Ahhhh!!!"

Dean smirked and stood up backing up about a foot, "Hello to you too."

"I'm sorry." Kallie quickly apologized as she rushed past and put the clothes from that day in the suitcase she kept by the bed.

"So this epiphany?" Dean asked trying to get back on subject.

"Oh right." Kallie muttered as she sat down on her bed and adjusted the already perfect strap of her tank top just for something to do, "I think I know what that dream actually was."

Dean sat down on one of her kitchen chairs, waiting for her to continue, but when she didn't he urged her on, "And…?"

"Well," She paused, trying to figure out how to explain her theory, "I think it was my angel, communicating with me."

"Your angel?" Dean asked, skeptical.

"Yeah, the angel who offered me the chance to be a warrior for God, the one who trained me." Kallie explained, unsure why she decided not to tell him Castiel's name or the fact that they fell in love and that he died for her; she just felt somewhere in the pit of her stomach that it was too personal, too hard to explain and that it just wasn't something that Dean needed to know.

"Why couldn't he have just come down and talked to you?" Dean asked, curious.

"Because he was recalled to heaven and it's harder than you'd think to travel from heaven to Earth." Kallie answered, knowing all of this was more or less true.

Dean leaned back in his chair trying to get a handle on all that Kallie had told him so far, "So if you were just having a chat with your angel trainer, why were you screaming?"

Kallie paused, unsure how to explain the feeling of Gabriel invaded their sanctuary, so she summed up, "Because another angel started to come but because he was so powerful, his presence began to overwhelm my mind."

Dean sat back, deeming her explanation plausible. Kallie, uncomfortable as she was discussing what had just happened chose to switch topics, "So where is Sam again? He's been gone awhile."

"Research." Dean answered with a wave of the hand as if this was self-explanatory.

"On what? I doubt I'm the first person to ever wake up in the middle of the night screaming." Kallie pointed out.

"No, of course not. He's just trying to double check your story as it were." Dean explained before he noticed Kallie's eyebrow raising and then quickly answered Kallie's unasked question, "Oh it's not personal, he does this for everybody. He's the kind who double checks and does research for fun."

Kallie felt herself breathe out without knowing she'd even been holding her breath. The Dean added, "Oh and he was curious about something you yelled out in Latin just before you woke up."

Kallie couldn't help but sit up straighter, on edge at this new information. As soon as she remembered Gabriel coming Kallie's voice uttering her frantic prayer entered her mind, and worried that she had yelled it out loud for the Winchesters to hear and interpret, revealing that she'd been lying to them and obliterating their trust in her. Dean didn't seem all that stressed enough for this to be true so she asked as nonchalantly as she could at the edge of panic, "What did I say, you guys know Latin right?"

"Ah, I just know the exorcisms, it's Sammy who's the expert on it. He said you yelled about angels coming or something. I dunno; I wasn't really paying attention." Dean confessed.

"Oh." Kallie responded secretly relieved but then suddenly the fact that Sam knew the truth washed over her. Kallie didn't know what it meant that Sam knew but hadn't told Dean. Was he gathering blackmail material or was he actually being considerate of Kallie's feelings? Kallie didn't know but she sure as heck wanted to find out.

Kallie was about to excuse herself to go 'check on' Sam when Dean yawned and stood up, "As fun as this was, I'm gonna hit the sack. Even for a hunter, four o'clock is late. Night Kallie."

Kallie watched him go as she made the determination to confront Sam later, "Yeah, night."

"Oh and Kallie," Dean paused in the open doorway, "could you tell your angel buddies to keep it down?"

Kallie knew very well that this was impossible but she got the gist and smiled slightly saying, "Yeah yeah."

With one last parting smirk, Dean headed out.

Kallie leaned back in bed, more weary than tired feeling as though she could stay awake the whole night but turned the light off anyway. Kallie fell asleep less than a minute later; dead to the world, not waking 'til long after the sun rose the next day.

The Next Day

Kallie awoke to the sound of a roaring engine right outside her window, startled into consciousness, Kallie gazed blearily at the clock by her face. The harsh bright numbers read 10:13. Kallie groaned at the fact that she had slept so late as she shoved off the colors and stood up, brushing back the curtains to reveal bright welcoming sunshine. As Kallie adjusted to the light she threw on a pair of slippers and her comfy travel robe, deeming her sleep clothes of a dark blue tank top and black cotton pants acceptable enough to fraternize with the Winchesters in. after slipping on the necklace from Castiel, Kallie stepped outside to the brisk morning air, and knocked on the door to the Winchester's motel room.

"It's open!" Sam called from inside.

Kallie entered the scant motel room to Sam, complete with bed head, already at it on his trusty laptop at the small table next to the kitchen area. The sight of him hard at work brought back to mind what Kallie had learned last night: that Sam heard and understood her prayer but lied to Dean about it. Kallie was anxious to question the hunter about this but knew she had to get Sam alone first. Thinking of this, Kallie looked around the small, double bed motel room for the older brother, but not finding him, "Where's Dean?"

"You just missed him. He went to get some breakfast. And by breakfast I'm pretty sure means coffee, donuts and some type of sausage." Sam explained sparing a glance for Kallie.

"I see." Kallie responded, surreptitiously moving to sit with him at the small table while Sam resumed poring over his computer screen.

The two of them sat in silence for a moment while Sam remained absorbed in his research and Kallie tried to think of how to begin.

"Hey Sam," Kallie began, vulnerability seeping into her voice unintentionally, but was strong enough to make Sam really look at Kallie for the first time since she entered the room, "I know you heard my prayer last night."

Sam said nothing, allowing Kallie to continue, though she found it hard to look at him so her eyes remained fixed on the cracked table top, "Dean told me. Though he didn't know what I said, I know you do. I was just…just wondering why you didn't tell him."

Sam took in a deep breath collecting how to respond, after a moments contemplation, he spoke, deep and compassionate, "Because it honestly isn't any of our business and at the time I didn't understand half of what your prayer meant. I didn't think it was necessary to get Dean riled up until I at least knew what was up."

"Ah," was all Kallie could think to say.

Sam reached over and placed a hand on Kallie's, "You don't have to tell me what that meant, but I'd like it if you did. I know we all hardly know each other but you need to know that you can trust me like I'm trusting you."

"I know Sam." Kallie said, "and I will, it's just…it all still seems so new. Too new. I lost somebody and I don't know if I will ever get over it. But one day…one day I will tell you. I just can't right now. I'm still trying to figure it all out myself. I don't know if that makes any sense."

Sam nodded, "I understand. I've lost people too. Just know that when you need to tell somebody, and I know there will come a day when you will, I'll be here, okay?"

Kallie was overcome with the emotion this man she had just met yesterday had showed that she couldn't talk and simply nodded. They sat like that for a moment, Sam holding her hand on top of the table, neither of them talking.

She looked down, wanting to divulge something to Sam as some small way of letting him know how much she appreciated him for keeping her secret. So she whispered "Castiel" almost of hoping he couldn't hear her. But in the quiet of the empty motel room, she was just audible.

"Huh?" Sam asked, leaning in.

"Lucy, I'm home!" Dean called before Kallie could answer from beyond the motel door. Kallie and Sam jumped as their hands flew apart just a second before Dean entered the room, a carton with three coffees and two greasy bags in his arms.

"Hey Kallie." Dean greeted the girl as he closed the door behind him as if it was no surprise to see her there. Dean proceeded to make his way to the other two, putting the food on the table and plopping down on the other side of the table, "You want some breakfast? We've got half a dozen donuts and a dozen pigs in a blanket."

Kallie and Sam shared a smirk at Dean's predictability before Kallie responded with a big smile, "Sounds perfect."

"Dean grinned as he began opening the bags he warned, "Don't touch the jelly donuts though. Those suckers are mine."

Sam laughed as he extricated a taboo donut and stuffed his face as Dean watched, chuckling at Dean's face before saying with a full mouth, "Ooops."

Following suit, Kallie chomped into Dean's favorite as well, giggling as she said "Whoops."

A look of Dark fury crossed Dean's face for the briefest seconds before a mischievous expression took it's place, "Oh I see how it is! Fine neither of you get any of my pigs in a blanket."

A look of horror met Kallie and Sam's faces at the same time as they lunged for the bag Dean held close to himself.

"No!" Sam yelled.

"You can have half of mine!" Kallie offered her uneaten half of her jelly donut to the master of breakfast, trying to barter for a precious pig in a blanket.

"I deem your offer worthy." Dean responded to Kallie brandishing a single blessed breakfast concoction to Kallie as she handed him the other half of the donut.

"What about me?" Sam asked in mock horror.

"You don't get any. You ate all of your donut." Dean explained as he chowed down on his own pig in a blanket.

Seeing Sam look less than thrilled, Kallie unselfishly broke hers in half and handed one piece to the younger brother, "Here; but you owe me."

"Oh, big time." Sam agreed as he devoured his half.

Kallie laughed, strangely and wonderfully comfortable in the Winchesters' crowded motel room feeling for the first time in a long time, a sense of family.

_Such pain as this  
Shouldn't have to be experienced  
I'm still reeling from the loss,  
Still a little bit delirious, yet…_

_Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you._

_Near To You- By A Fine Frenzy_

**so i love writing the Winchesters as I am sure you can tell and just hope i did them justice. i'm sorry about the lack of Cas in this story but i will try to work him back in soon. no promises though. i can not control my plot bunnies, they are on crack.**

**keep in mind that this is a slight AU loosely based around the plot of the show meaning, there are differences like no ruby but please keep reading.**

**oh and i am not trying to get Kallie together with the winchesters. nobody needs a slut of a mary sue who has all the guys fawning over her. the boys are important as Kallie is growing close to them but they are growing to be pretty much good friends. this is not a sister fic either. i am not a fan of cliches i just wanted a different kind of Castiel story and this is my take on it.**

**enough of me, if you liked it, great! please review and tell me what you thought or just review if you had an issue with anything.**

**favs and story alerts rock too, just keep in touch and keep reading!**

**-Fin**


	8. Life is A Highway

**Disclaimer: You know the deal, i don't own the boys, i just borrow them.**

**i would like to firstly apologize for not updating for about 10 months. in my defense my life changed completely, i switched colleges, went on vacation, my computer crashed about 8 or 9 times, basically RL took over and i got distracted by other stories and fandoms.**

**i am so sorry. i am back. please read and review. i am well on the way in my next chapter so here's hoping i'll be able to update again soon.**

**UPDATE: I would also like to add that i have been trying to update this story for over a week but fanfiction was screwing up and wouldn't let me. so i am extra super happy to present you with this much delayed chapter. enjoy!**

_"Life's like a road that you travel on  
When there's one day here and the next day gone  
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand  
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind  
There's a world outside every darkened door_

_Come ride with me to the distant shore  
We won't hesitate  
To break down the garden gate  
There's not much time left today" _

_**One Month Later**_

"Come on guys, make up your mind. Where are we going?" Kallie asked the boys on the side of a back road in northern Alabama, cars passing them occasionally.

Sam sat in the passenger seat of the Impala with the door open and his legs stretched out on the road as he pored over his laptop. Dean stood pacing by the hood with a map spread out before him. Kallie leaned against the back of her Mini Clubman facing the Impala.

"Give me a sec!" Sam yelled so she could hear, "Okay, a woman has called the police 6 times this week, claiming that she feels as though she is being watched in her house. Think it could be a ghost?"

"What's her occupation?" Dean asked stopping in his pacing to wait for Sam's answer.

Sam searched his site, and answered, "Model."

"As much fun as it'd be to help out a model in distress," Dean began, "she has just got a case of either a stalker or a paparazzi."

Sam nodded in agreement as he searched for a new case. Kallie sat down on her Clubman's bumper, "What's happened? How come it is so hard to find a supernatural case these days?"

"Maybe it's because someone is trying to tell us to get back to trying to save Dean." Sam muttered half to himself.

"Sam, we've talked about this." Dean said forcefully, clearly not wanting to discuss it further, "it does me know good to spend my last few months chasing a ghost when I could be saving people's lives."

Kallie learned over the last month that the two brothers would never agree on this so she swiftly changed the subject, "I'll just check the paper again shall I?"

Without waiting for an answer Kallie walked around to the passenger side, reached her hand in the open window and extracted three thick newspapers before returning to the back of the car and handed the pacing Dean a paper, leaving two for herself. She quickly extracted the sports, fashion, business and leisure section and placed them on the Clubman's roof.

The three were for silent for a few minutes, each studying their material when Dean's chuckle broke the silence. Kallie raised an eyebrow at him as he looked up grinning. His grin faded as he hastily explained, waving his paper, "Those Pearl Before Swine crocodiles are funny little buggers."

"I see." Kallie said simply returning to her articles as Dean cleared his throat and removed the comics from the stack he was perusing, so as to remove temptation.

"I think I've got something." Sam called from behind his laptop. Dean and Kallie placed their newspapers on the hood of the impala as they went to stand on either side of Sam to look at the laptop.

"Okay what is it?" Kallie asked, leaning in.

"A bank accountant was shot dead last week in a mugging." Sam stated.

Uninterested, Dean interjected, "Sorry Sammy, I'm just not sure what makes this one of ours."

"I didn't think so either until I read that his body was found walking along the interstate 2 days ago." Sam finished shooting a glance at Dean in a slightly smug manner.

"His body…was walking around." Kallie asked slightly disgusted and doubtful. "Are you sure it wasn't just a look-a-like sleepwalking?"

"Yep," Sam answered, "Authorities were called in because the body was walking eyes closed covered in blood. They confirmed the man had no pulse or breath."

Dean was now standing straight against the Impala, "Okay, you got me. It's just weird enough to be our kind of case. Where is it?"

"Just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina." Sam answered as Dean made his way to the map calculating the distance in hours in his head.

"I'm thinking it's about a 7 hour drive." Kallie stated, checking with Dean.

"Sounds about right." Dean confirmed, "Okay, what are we waiting for? Let's get there before another corpse longs for a stroll."

Dean started folding his map back up as Sam powered down his laptop and Kallie returned her newspapers to her car.

Kallie met them between the two cars when they were ready to leave.

"You know how to get there?" Dean checked.

"Got a map up here," Kallie responded pointing to her forehead, "besides I'll be following you two. Just remember to call and ask me for directions if you get lost. We don't want another incident like Missouri, now do we?"

Dean focused his gaze down, "Yeah, whatever."

Sam looked up at the sun which a little more than half-way across the sky, "It'll be dark by the time we get there so I'll call you when we get closer with the motel we're going to stay at."

"Okay then." Kallie replied, her hands in her pockets not quite sure how to part with the boys she would be following for the rest of the day.

Dean was not one to prolong things so he turned to get in the impala throwing Kallie a quick wave saying, "See ya Kallie."

Kallie waved back, as Sam stepped closer, clearly awkward as well, "Okay, drive safe."

With a brief pat on the back Sam turned his back to her as well.

"You too." Kallie replied just before Sam got in the car, "Oh and make sure your galoot of a brother drives somewhere in the zip code of the speed limit. I'd rather not get a ticket."

Sam laughed as he opened the door, "Will do."

Kallie smiled and with one last wave, Kallie turned around and slipped into the driver's seat, shutting the door behind her. Kallie took a breath before putting the keys into the ignition, preparing for their next journey when a voice spoke from beside her.

"Hey Kallie. How have you been?"

"Geez, Sophie!" Kallie yelled, jumping before turning to face her angelic visitor, "How many times have I told you to not do that?"

The girl beside her shrugged, indifferent and clearly not bothered by Kallie's startled state. Sophie brushed her vessel's long wavy tresses of blond hair off of her shoulders as she faced Kallie full on, stating simply, "You look horrible. What happened to you?"

"Gee thanks." Kallie responded, self-consciously moving a stray light brown bang from out of her eyes, "You might actually know what's up if you checked in more than just once every 2 years."

"I'm not your babysitter, Kallie. It's not my job to hold your hand and make sure you are okay every second of everyday." Sophia defended, her angelic coldness steeling her eyes, before softening slightly, "Besides, with a legion of orders and a garrison to advise, there's been no time to check in on you. You've never had a problem with my erratic nature before."

"Things change." Kallie muttered darkly, staring out the windshield.

Sophie placed a hand on Kallie's arm, a rare display of emotion for the angel, before saying softly, "I heard about Castiel."

"Then why didn't you come sooner?" Kallie couldn't help but ask.

"Because I only just found out about it. Raphael has apparently been trying to keep the whole thing quiet. He doesn't want to encourage other angels disregarding his rules." Sophie explained.

"Raphael is in on it?" Kallie asked thinking of the fierce presence of Gabriel invading the sanctuary a month ago.

"You could say he is running the whole scheme to keep you and Castiel apart. He's the one who sent Gabriel after Castiel when he tried to communicate you. You should know Gabriel didn't want to just like how Raphael does not take no easily." Sophie told Kallie.

"I can imagine." Kallie responded, thinking on how she had never heard a tale of kindness concerning the archangel, she'd only heard he was one to be feared and respected, "So what do think of all this?"

"I don't think getting involved with an angel was the wisest move you have ever made; but I learned long ago that people, even angels become morons once they fall in love. Castiel is still trying to get back to you, but I have a feeling Raphael won't let it happen. So don't loose faith in Castiel because he has always been extremely faithful to all whom he serves." The golden haired angel answered thoughtfully, wording her response with care.

"So what do I do now?" Kallie asked, somewhat hopelessly.

"Keep following your orders." Sophie told her looking Kallie straight in the face, "Protect the Winchesters and heaven cannot fault you."

"What about Dean's deal?" Kallie inquired, slightly worried. "Am I supposed to break it, and if so, how? And why are the Winchesters so important?"

"I don't know about Dean's deal, we've had angels hunting Lilith with no luck for centuries. I don't know how to help you." Sophie answered shifting in her seat, "and as for the Winchesters, let's just say that God had a plan for them that was sabotaged long ago. He has been using you to see if he can still put it into action."

Like always, answers from angels always lit up a thousand more questions than they dimmed, "What plan? Who sabotaged it? How am I supposed to help?"

"Patience, you silly mortal." Sophie responded holding up a hand as a sign to stop talking, "You're acting like I know all the answers of heaven. I'll see what I can find out for you, but don't hold your breath. Continue on your current path. Try to save Dean if you can, but if you can't then it was not meant to be. Do your best to keep Sam alive and following the will of God. That is all you can be expected to do."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to do that." Kallie declared, scared.

Sophie held her gaze, firm and unyielding, "Keep following the Lord and he will lead you through. You must trust in the might of heaven and you will not be led astray. Keep the faith. I can't say that things will be easy, but it is what you must do."

Kallie showed that she understood, and began committing the angel's advice to memory, before questioning, "Are you leaving now?"

Sophie nodded, "I must return to my duties. But I will try to see you more now that Castiel is recalled. I can't guarantee anything, but I will try."

"I understand." Kallie responded.

"Good. Now take care of yourself Kallie St. James, and try not to break anymore rules, I'm not sure even I can help you if you do." Sophie warned her before disappearing to the sound of wings fluttering.

Kallie immediately popped awake to the sound of the Impala's horn behind her. Kallie checked the clock on her updated dashboard only to discover that her communication with Sophie had taken place in less than a minute.

Marveling at the power of angelic abilities, Kallie switched from park into drive and waved out the window for Dean to go around her and begin to lead. As the shiny black Impala swung out in front of her, she thought back on all that Sophie had told her, her words still reverberating in her ears, feeling both more confident and less sure at the same time. But as Kallie drove down the deserted Alabama highway behind the Winchesters ten miles above the speed limit, Kallie felt as though she knew what she had to do.

_"Through all these cities and all these towns  
It's in my blood and it's all around  
_

_Knock me down get back up again  
You're in my blood  
I'm not a lonely man  
There's no load I can't hold  
Road so rough this I know  
I'll be there when the light comes in  
Just tell 'em we're survivors."_

_Life Is A Highway- Rascall Flatts_

**and there you have it. and there's Sophie. i have been wanting to add in Sophie for awhile but it just never fit before now.**

**and in my head Sophie is played by Amanda Seyfried. you can check out my photobucket for some pics with her and the others.**

**and there it is. i hope you can forgive me and review!**


	9. Breathe Me

**Disclaimer: the fates are cruel and the Supernatural characters are not my own personal property. The plot, Kallie and the grieving widow are all mine though and you can't take them from me!**

**This chapter is beta'd by the lovely yazsha1510 and dedicated to Jedi-Princess Knight who led me to blush like mad and get a move on with my writing. Thank you my dear! Now where are my jelly donuts? Yep you rock.**

**Now read my pretties!**

Chapter 9-

Breathe Me

_Help, I have done it again, _

_I have been here many times before_

_Hurt myself again today_

_And the worst part is there's no one else to blame._

_**The Next Day**_

"Divide and conquer?" Kallie inquired of the boys as they ate at the diner across the street from their motel.

"Sure," Sam agreed before taking in a deep sip of coffee.

"What were you thinking of doing?" Dean asked, his mouth full of his breakfast burrito.

Kallie turned to face him, as they were sharing the same side of the booth to give Sam who was larger than both of them more room, and said, "Dean. How many times do I have to tell you? Chew with your mouth closed and talk when you are finished eating."

"Yes, Mom." Dean replied snarkily.

Kallie glared at him for a good solid minute until he put down his breakfast and looked away. Clearing her throat, Kallie turned her attention to Sam but answered Dean's question, "I was thinking that since our mysterious corpse walker, Mr. Liddell, had a brother he was close to who ran a bar, that Dean should ask him questions, then go and talk to his boss at the bank. Meanwhile Sam and I should talk to Liddell's widow, because let's face it Dean, you are not a gentle person and afterwards we'll talk to the police and see if the officers who apprehended the body noticed anything we didn't at the morgue this morning."

"Great, we'll do that." Dean said half a second after swallowing which wasn't much better.

Kallie shot a quick look of incredulity at Dean before facing Sam, pointing to his plate, "You done?"

Sam wiped his greasy hands on his napkin and stood up, "Yeah, let's go."

Kallie slid out and placed her used napkin on her plate.

"What, you're leaving?" Dean asked his mouth once again full.

"As charming as your table manners are, we have a widow to comfort." Kallie answered placing her money on the table.

"Bye Dean," Sam said to his brother, as he extracted his money as well, "and remember to not get too drunk at the bar. You've still got the bank manager to talk to afterwards."

"Yeah yeah." Dean responded waving them away, "now remember not to have too much fun. You may strain yourself."

Kallie stuck her tongue out at him as the two walked back to the motel to change into their church garb: Sam a priest's frock, Kallie an elegant and official looking black dress for her role as grief counselor. Once properly attired the two left in Kallie's Blue Mini Clubman going over their story and what they wanted to ask.

The Liddell's home was in a clean well-kept subdivision just outside of the capital. The widow's address featured a beautiful and perfectly groomed garden with a simple black ribbon tied around the post of the mailbox.

"Man, this is just so sad." Kallie remarked as she got out of the car.

"Losing someone is never easy," Sam commented, as he adjusted his coat.

"I know," Kallie replied as she led the way down the sidewalk, "but it doesn't help when someone makes your dead husband's body take a stroll. Poor woman."

The two had reached the door by this point and by unspoken consent, Sam stepped forward and rung the doorbell. Mrs. Liddell answered the door within a minute, a woman only in her 30's, with no make-up and her short blond hair undone, but wearing the black of a widow (reword), she had a curious expression of one not expecting visitors. Sam assumed his most gentle and comforting voice, "Hello, I'm Reverend Matthews and this is Ms. James, our grief counselor from 1st Methodist Church here in Charlotte, on behalf of our entire congregation, I extend our deepest condolences."

"But Steven and I are Presbyterian." Mrs. Liddell remarked somewhat mystified.

"We at 1st Methodist seek to help those in grief no matter what church they attend." Kallie explained sweetly, "May we come in?"

Mrs. Liddell nodded, respectful and appreciative, "Well then, yes, please come in."

The two hunters crossed the threshold as the widow led them into the living room.

"Would you like any coffee or tea or anything?" Mrs. Liddell asked in fulfillment of her hostess duties motioning for them to sit down.

The two acquiesced but not wanting to take advantage of her even more than they already were, declined her offer for drinks, insisting that they were there for her needs.

"I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Liddell. The entire church sympathizes with this tough time you are going through." Kallie explained in her most heart-felt tone.

"Thank you, so much," the widow said appreciative, "But please, call me Helen."

Sam nodded in acknowledgement leaning in as he said, "I don't wish to be insensitive, Helen, but is there anything about your husband that might indicate as to why this latest unfathomable event occurred."

"You mean the rumors of his body walking on the interstate?" Helen asked, paling while she thought of it.

Sam nodded, so she continued, sounding more and more like she was defending him to herself, "I don't know if that was Steven's body or someone playing a cruel joke, but Steven had nothing to do with it. He was a good man; the two of us taught Sunday school at our Presbyterian church every Sunday. He had no enemies. He volunteered as a Boy Scout counselor. I don't know why this happened."

As Helen deteriorated into tears, Kallie leaned forward to comfort her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "The Lord works in mysterious ways. He alone knows why this is happening. Losing a loved one is never easy, I know what it is like, but the Lord will guide you through it. Your church will get you through. I myself was lost after someone close to me passed away but the church and Reverend Matthews here got me through. The lord will provide. If you ever need to talk to someone about what has happened I am sure your church and family will be there for you."

Sam, sitting behind Kallie, looked at her quizzically as if trying to piece things together but a moment later his face was clear again. The two stayed for a few more minutes but upon seeing that there was nothing more they could learn from the grieving widow fixed Helen some tea to calm her down and left soon after.

"Well the wife is normally the last one to know of anything supernatural going on." Kallie observed as she got into the driver's seat of the mini clubman, "Shall we head back to the motel to change and then hit the police station?"

Sam ignored her question, appearing in deep contemplation.

"Hello, Sammy?" Kallie asked waving a hand in his general direction.

"What you said to Helen is true." Sam said, determined.

"You mean 'I don't need anything to drink'? because that was a lie, I'm actually quite thirsty." Kallie replied trying to lighten the mood.

"No, that she should try to talk to someone about what she's going through." Sam clarified.

Kallie sighed and turned off the engine, leaning back.

"I think you need to talk about what happened, whatever it is, is eating you up inside. Don't think I can't tell?" Sam insisted, clearly worried.

"I just can't. It hurts too much to think about." Kallie told him as she fought to control her emotions.

"You won't be able to get through this unless you talk it out." Sam insisted, "I felt the exact same way when Jess died. But I bottled it up. I didn't talk to Dean about what I was dealing with until it nearly killed me. I don't want to see the same thing to happen to you."

The Warrior of God took a deep breath as if the air around her was comprised of strength and courage instead of oxygen and nitrogen. She couldn't tell him all the gory details, she at least knew that if she did she'd end up in a ball on the floor for days, but maybe Sam was right. Kallie hadn't talked about it. Not to Clara, not to Sophie, not even to a journal.

"Okay," she conceded, letting the air back out, "Maybe I do have to let myself talk about it, think about it. But we take this slow."

Sam nodded in agreement, "Of course. We can go as slow as you like. Just start simple. It might help just to acknowledge what happened. You don't have to go into any detail; just give a brief description, okay?"

"Okay, I can do this," Kallie agreed as she concentrated on her breathing and began, closing her eyes, "I lost someone. Someone I loved. He was taken from me by demons."

Sam held out a hand over the driving column as he eased her along, "Who was he?"

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, comforted so much by that simple contact.

"My guardian. My teacher. My friend. My champion. The love of my-" she paused in the list of all that Castiel had been to her, opening her eyes as her voice broke and her breath caught. She drew in another calming breath and finished, "The love of my life."

Sam gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, "How did you two meet?"

"I was in western Pennsylvania at the time." She began, aware that recalling the beginning was not nearly as painful remembering the middle or the end, "I went back to my motel after taking care of a hoard of angry spirits that were killing residents of an apartment complex and he was there. I opened the door and he was just standing there by the kitchen table and said 'Hello Kallie.' As if we knew each other. I, understandably, freaked out, demanding an explanation. When he first told me what he was I thought he was insane, or worse, a demon trying to trick me but when he told me what I was and what I was meant to do, I suddenly felt this overwhelming feeling of calm and I knew that it was alright; that he was telling the truth. My life has been radically and wonderfully different ever since that night."

She had a small smile on her face at the comfort of the memory but as she sat there, pulling farther and farther from that night, the smile faded and she gasped for air, clutching Sam's hand tightly as she sobbed, "God, I miss him! I miss him so much!"

The hunter beside her pulled her across the small space until she was crying into his shoulder. He wrapped his big arms around her and rubbed her back, soothing her, "I know. I know."

The tears poured out of her eyes as she fought to breathe and pulled back from him slightly to look at his face, "I just don't get it! I don't understand why he's gone! I don't understand how they could've taken him when he's-when he's…"

She stopped, reluctant to tell Sam, who may or may not already know, what Castiel was. Fortunately spared from explaining what he was when the sound of hard rock emanated from Sam's pocket. Sam swore as he dug his phone out of his back pocket, keeping one arm wrapped around Kallie as she hiccupped into his chest.

"What?" Sam asked curtly, thinking his brother had horrible timing as Dean snapped back in a smart-alec fashion, "I'm sorry Dean, you just picked a bad time. What is it?"

Kallie reached forward and grabbed a tissue from its case attached to the roof of the car, wiping her nose and eyes while she had the chance.

"Wait, what happened?" Sam asked, abruptly tense and incredulous, "They did that? Yeah you're right, that's definitely up our alley though not sure if the two are related or not."

Kallie blew her nose as Sam's quizzical brow got more pronounced, "Yeah, okay. We'll meet you back at the motel. And, Dean, please eat some peanuts or something, you sound drunk and it seems we'll need all hands on deck for this one."

He then made a face at Dean's obviously loaded response and hung up. "I'm sorry about that, Dean thinks he's got a lead in the case."

"It's fine." Kallie responded sitting up straight again, clearly in more control of her emotions, "What's up?"

"Something weird happened. Dean's going to fill us in when we get back." Sam explained putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Ah." Kallie responded for lack of anything else to say.

"Now, get out," Sam instructed, "I'm driving."

"What?" Kallie inquired, shocked. "Why?"

"Because," Sam told her, "40% of accidents are caused by emotional instability."

"Yeah," Kallie shot back, sarcastically as she opened her car door anyway, "and 65% of all statistics are made up on the spot."

Sam laughed in an amused way as he climbed out of the car, "Fair enough, I'm still driving."

"Whatever." Kallie replied as they passed each other in front of the car.

When they both got into the Clubman, as Sam is a bit bigger than Kallie they both made their traditional seat adjustments until they were comfortable.

"You never did tell me what Dean's lead was," Kallie pointed out, her interest piqued and seeking to avoid thinking about what they were talking about before, "And you know how I hate suspense."

"Yeah I do." Sam grinned, as he turned the ignition. "You ready? It's really shocking, and a bit of a doozy."

Kallie nodded wordlessly just wanting to know already.

"Just as Dean walked into the bar, the furniture burst into flames." Sam said as he put the car into drive.

"Really?" Kallie asked, clearly far less than truly shocked.

Sam saw the look on her face and grinned slightly before elaborating, "And the patrons burst into song. Italian Opera."

She raised her eyebrows, widening her eyes as she did a double take, now appropriately mystified, "Really?"  
Sam's smile spread as he spared a quick glance for her and put on the Clubman's gas and pulled away from the curb, "Really."

"Well that is certainly something." Kallie stated, definitely distracted now.

"Tell me about it." Sam said as the two of them made their way to the motel in better spirits.

_Be my friend_

_Hold me_

_Wrap me up_

_Unfold me_

_I am small_

_And needy_

_Warm me up_

_And breathe me_

_Breathe Me- Sia_

**Yep this chapter is a little different, little self-conscious but I needed these moments. Next chapter will be better promise.**

**I meant to have this chapter up about a week ago but life intervened. Stupid responsibilities and headaches!**

**I've got the next few all planned out, I just have to find the time and inspiration. Hopefully I'll be back again soon.**

**Now make me a happy writer and review!**

**EDIT: just went back and reread the story again and dang chapter two is tense and sad. cuz i noticed it's the only one without reviews and i was like "why is that?" reread the chapter and thought "oh, that's why."**


	10. Show Me What This Life is All About

**Disclaimer: I am not Eric Kripke, nor any of his descendants or minions. I am not awesome enough to own any Winchesters or a certain attractive angel named Castiel. The only things I can take credit for in this chapter is the plot and Kallie and I refuse to give her up!**

**Author's Note: I'm gonna be real short here and give Jedi-Princess Knight ten awesome points for reviewing. Bless you dear. Now read and I will ramble at the bottom.**

**Also, this chapter is unbeta'd because I was anxious and overdue to get this to you. Please excuse any errors and I will update this once my beta gets it back to me.**

Chapter 10

Show Me What This Life is All About (This is a Call)

_She fools all of her friends,  
Into thinking she's so strong,  
But she still sleeps with the light on,  
And she acts like it's all right on,  
As she smiles again_

_(And her mother lies there sick with cancer)  
And her friends don't understand her,  
She's a question without answers,  
Who feels like falling apart_

She knows, she's so much more than worthless,  
She needs to find her purpose,  
She wonders what she, did to deserve this.

"Okay, let me get this straight," Kallie started spreading her hands out on the small motel table she sat at with the brothers, "you were at the bar, went to the bathroom and when you came back the place was on fire and all of the patrons were singing?"

"Loudly." Dean clarified, clearly very drunk from across the table from the other two.

"Uh huh." Kallie said clearly not putting much importance on that detail, "and why does this make you think it was demonic? Maybe they were all just very very drunk, like you. Feel like belting out any tunes Deany?"

Dean made a big exaggerated sigh at her teasing, "I may be very singy but I am not going to drunk."

Kallie giggled and Dean waved at her in an annoyed fashion, "Reverse that. And yes I am sure it was demonic."

"How?" Sam asked, just as amused as Kallie.

"Because, I have never been this drunk before." Dean replied pulling out a beer bottle from his jacket pocket, "so I brought this to prove it."

Kallie picked it up, "what so we could all get pissed like you?"

"No," Dean responded, exasperatedly as if it was an enormous effort to get his thoughts in coherent patterns, "Look at the lid. Recognize something?"

Sam and Kallie, who had been grinning, suddenly looked at each other with shared intrigue and leaned in to look at the bottle in Kallie's hands together. Sure enough, an demonic sign had been carved into the top. Kallie and Sam unanimously leaned closer to see it.

"It's a demonic engraving." Kallie noted with incredulity.

"I'll be damned." Sam commented as if he didn't believe it.

"Told ya." Dean taunted drunkenly.

Kallie laughed at him and pointed out good naturedly, "Ha, you do realize that this makes you a demonically drunken fool, don't you?"

"Shut up." The eldest Winchester slurred, "Just 'cause I'm poisoned doesn't make me weak. I'm still tough. I'm a freaking warrior beast."

"Well how about you sleep off the toxin, mighty warrior while Sam and I try to figure out how to fix you?" Kallie asked, standing up, her hands on her hips.

Dean mumbled something of an agreement and trudged off to his bed shucking off his shoes as he did. Sam and Kallie sniggered at each other before retreating to Kallie's room next door; Sam with his laptop and Kallie with the beer bottle.

"Do you want to split up and go to the police station and bank as planned or should we wait for our 'freaking beast' to sober up?" Kallie asked as she grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and some books from her wheeled suitcase.

"Nah," Sam answered, going to sit on one side of her queen-sized bed as he powered up his laptop, "I'm not sure we'll have to."

"Why not?" The warrior inquired joining him on the bed placing the stack of books between them and the yogurt on the nightstand.

"That symbol is pretty distinctive." Sam replied as he perused the web.

"Then you've seen it before?" Kallie insinuated after swallowing a bite as she held the cap up to him.

"I think so." Sam answered thoughtfully as he took it, getting into what Kallie had come to recognize as his 'research mode', "I just can't remember where or what it means."

"Ah, so basically the only thing you know about it is that it exists." Kallie summed up in a jovial way.

"Basically." Sam agreed.

"Alright then. Let's hit the books." Kallie recommended before thumping the old book she held in his direction, eliciting a grin from the hunter.

And they did for most of the day and well into the evening, stopping a few hours later for Kallie to make a run to the store and Sam to unceremoniously shove Dean in the shower. Kallie made sandwiches and Sam made an antidote to the poison from a recipe found in one of his books. When they were fed, Dean washed and recovering, they resumed their studies, with books of their combined library piled up on the floor and on Kallie's bed.

It wasn't until dark that either of them had any luck with finding more than the antidote when Sam leaned forward suddenly, "Found it!"

Kallie, eyes tired from hours of intense reading, blinked up at him from a particularly dark and musty tome, "Really?"

"Yeah, let's go tell Dean." Sam replied, upsetting a stack of books that had rested against his thigh as he stood up.

"Dean's still unconscious," Kallie pointed out, closing her book and joining Sam in the upright position, "let's tell me instead."

Sam smiled very excitedly at her, "I'll tell you both together."

And before Kallie could protest, Sam was already outside and down the way opening the door to their room. Kallie cursed Sam's long legs under her breath and followed him out, shutting her door behind her.

"Dean!" Sam called, going over to where Dean lay passed out.

"Ouch." Dean mumbled, his eyes still closed, scrunching up his face, "Volume Sammy."

"Sorry," Sam breathed quickly, sitting on his own bed facing his brother, "I figured it out."

"Awesome." Dean noted groggily, "Tell me about it tomorrow."

With that Dean rolled over to face the kitchen area that Kallie was exiting, holding a glass of water and 2 aspirin out to him. Dean sat up slowly and accepted them gladly, "Bless you. At least someone has manners."

"I'm sorry, Dean, but this is important." Sam insisted.

"Alright, alright." Dean relented, downing the pills and handing the glass back to Kallie.

She put it on the counter before sitting at the foot of Dean's bed facing Sam, informing him, "We're listening."

"I found out that it's a spirit of chaos and it's fairly new at that." Sam explained fervently, "The toying with the dead, and little tricks are classic signs that one is surfacing."

"Neat." Dean remarked, blinking his unfocused eyes, "Enlighten me as to why this is so urgent."

"Don't you see it? This is our answer." Sam said excitedly, tapping the book he had carried with him.

"To what?" Kallie hedged, wary of the direction Sam seemed inclined to be going.

"To Dean's problem." Sam answered as if it were obvious.

"How's that?" Kallie asked as Dean seemed to be rendered temporarily mute by Sam's proclamation.

"It's a spirit that's not ruled by demon politics so it's not afraid of Lilith. On top of that its powers are practically limitless so it would actually have the juice to take care of her unlike most of what we deal with. It's the perfect solution." Sam finished, his eyes wide with such hope that Kallie almost hated that they'd have to put his plan down.

Dean leaned forward, shaking his head and closing his eyes, "You've suggested a lot of dim-witted things over the years but this really takes the cake."

A hurt look crossed the younger brother's face mingled with confusion, "What? Why do you say that?"

"A chaos spirit? Really Sam?" Dean asked, his brow furrowing.

"What's wrong with it? It'd work." Sam defended leaning forward.

"'What's wrong with it?' Where do I even start?" Dean yelled, picking up steam, "For starters it's evil. Even if the thing is not a demon, it's still evil and you know it. For another how the hell would you even begin to control it? Anything ruled by chaos doesn't give a damn what anyone else wants."

"We could make a deal." Sam proposed, his voice rising with the passion of his argument.

"A deal." Dean repeated, sounding more and more like a parrot with his frustration at Sammy, before throwing his hands in the air, "Because those never end badly."

"These aren't like crossroads demons." Sam maintained.

"Exactly," Dean shot back, "Crossroads demons are at least predictable. They aren't likely to set you on fire in the middle of negotiations if they get bored. Chaos spirits have everything they want. They don't need anything from anyone that they can't get in the blink of an eye anyway."

"You're not seeing this straight." Sam told his brother angrily.

Dean kicked his legs over the side of the bed, narrowly avoiding hitting Kallie, who was strategically staying out of the Winchesters' familiar fight that repeated at least once a week, in the head, "You're the one who's not seeing this straight. I knew when I got into this that there was no getting out. You need to accept that too."

"I can't," Sam stubbornly held his ground, "We can save you. This is our chance."

"No." Dean shot his brother down, "It's not. We are not making a deal with this thing. We are going to find it and kill it before it ruins anyone else's lives. And that's the end of it."

Sam rose to his feet, filled with frustration and anger, opened his mouth a couple times as if to speak, but nothing came out. Sam fought down a shudder of anger, before muttering, "I'm getting some air."

Sam left the room quickly, slamming the door behind him. Kallie and Dean sat in the wake of the fight for a moment in silence. Dean took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "I'm sorry. I feel like we are always having the same fight."

Kallie patted his shoulder, "He just doesn't want to lose you, Dean."

"I know. I felt the same way when he died but I just can't go through that again." Dean articulated, "I'm worried if he keeps chasing leads like this I'll be left without him again and I just couldn't handle that."

"I understand." Kallie said, staring out at nothing in particular, "Everything is just so screwed up. This is not the way things were supposed to be. I feel useless. With all of my training I should be able to do something but I just can't."

"You are doing something, Kallie." Dean said, "I know we aren't the best at expressing gratitude but you've helped out a lot these past few weeks, and I'm counting on you for what comes later. Sam will need you when I'm gone. What with all that Azazel did to him I'm worried. Before you came along I thought he'd go dark side once I died, because he'd have no one left besides Bobby. But he has you now. He's a stubborn bastard, I'll give him that but you can talk sense into him."

Kallie looked at Dean with newfound admiration. Dean had never been particularly prolific when it came to talking about his feelings so this was a huge step, "Thank you. You know I'll do my best."

"That's what I'm banking on." Dean voiced, "Right now he's just looking for any possible way to keep me from going to hell without looking at the bigger picture."

Kallie nodded in agreement, "He looks at a spirit of chaos and sees an entity with enough power to break your deal. He doesn't see the temperamental monster that sets walking corpses on highways and bar patrons on fire. He's looking for a silver lining so bad he doesn't notice that the storm cloud carries acid rain."

Dean shot her a look, "Well that was…eloquent."

Kallie rolled her eyes, "Shut up. I read a lot of poetry."

Dean chuckled teasingly, "No I liked it; 'acid rain'."

She shoved him playfully as the two of them enjoyed the light moment. As their laughter subsided and they regained their breath they thought again on the scene they'd just had with Sam.

"You need to talk to him." Dean told the girl sitting beside him, "He won't listen to me right now."

"You're right." Kallie concurred, really looking at Dean.

"Please make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. If I know him, he's gonna try and find the spirit on his own." Dean reasoned, rubbing his eyes.

"I'll look after him." She reassured her friend, getting to her feet and stretching her back, "You need to sleep some more to fight off the poison. It takes a full 10 hours for the antidote to work and you've only had 5."

"Meh." Dean, responded nonchalantly, leaning back against the pillows again and putting his legs up in the spot Kallie had just vacated, "I'll live."

"Sure, but in the morning, you'll wish you won't. Antidote or not, demonic hangovers are a bitch." Kallie informed him, in a light-hearted manner.

"Great." Dean groaned covering his eyes with his hands as exhaustion gripped him.

"Sorry, hon. Sleep tight." Kallie called heading towards the door, grabbing a duffle of Sam's clothes from the kitchen table and turning off the light before she left.

Once outside, Kallie fought down a shiver from the chill that had swept through the small town in North Carolina, before shouldering the duffel and heading down the sidewalk to her room. She deposited the bag just inside the room, grabbed her favorite black coat and headed back outside, looking for Sam. Going off her best guess, Kallie headed towards the parking lot hoping to find Sam and the Impala still there. And, making Kallie feel lucky for the first time in what felt like days, they were. Sam sat on the trunk of Dean's beloved car, his head in his hands.

"Hey." Kallie said as she walked over to him.

Sam looked up at the sound of her voice and responded very tiredly, "Hey."

"I was worried about you." She informed him as she joined him on the Impala.

"Let me guess," Sam drawled out, straightening up, "Dean sent you out here to baby-sit me and make sure I didn't run off and do anything rash."

"Well sure." Kallie responded matter-of-factly, "He's your brother, of course he did, but that's not why I'm here."

"Really now?" Sam asked, not believing her.

"Really." Kallie replied simply, bundling her coat closer.

"Then why are you here?" Sam inquired, taking a deep look at her.

"Well, one of my closest friends just got into a big fight with his brother and I thought he might want not want to be alone right now." Kallie explained, returning his stare with focused determination.

"Oh." Sam uttered, looking away, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Kallie acknowledged, returning her gaze to her Mini Clubman across the way.

"Just so you know, I don't want to talk about it, in case you came out here for that." Sam forewarned the girl sitting beside him.

"Nope, didn't think so." Kallie replied, "I'm just here to be here. Sometimes it's nice not to talk."

Sam nodded in agreement, shifting the way his ridiculously long legs sprawled out before him and took in a deep breath. Kallie adjusted to be more comfortable and leaned against him, sighing contentedly, her breath swirling before her in the light from a street lamp. The two sat like that in companionable silence as the night wore on.

About twenty minutes later, Sam let out his breath as if he had been holding it in and said quietly to the night, "I'm scared for him."

"Me too, Sam." Kallie said, "Me too."

"What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to overcome this?" Sam asked in a low voice, not looking at her.

"We keep going, we endure and we fight until we can't fight anymore." Kallie replied in a level tone, "That's the most important thing. Even if we fail, we have to keep going. It's why Dean did what he did, so you would endure."

"Some days I wish he hadn't." Sam admitted quietly, "And some days I get so mad at him that he won't let me try."

"I know, but that's what makes him your brother." Kallie pointed out.

"It's classic Dean alright." Sam agreed, "I just don't know what to do with him when he's like this. I'm just so mad and frustrated I can't go back in there right now."

"So were you planning on staying out here all night?" Kallie asked, fixing her questioning stare on him.

"I honestly hadn't thought past getting out of there." Sam confessed, with a shrug.

"Well it is definitely too damn cold for that." Kallie assessed succinctly hopping off of the car, and extending a hand to him, "Come on, let's go."

Sam took it and stood as well, "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere insulated." Kallie answered passing through a hallway to the inner courtyard of the motel.

Sam chuckled quietly at her to-the-point manner and followed. When they reached Kallie's room she unlocked the door and led them in, dropping Sam's hand.

"You're gonna sleep in here." Kallie informed Sam chucking off her shoes and replacing them with slippers before pointing to the chair by the door, "There's your duffel bag, by the way."

"Um, thanks? And where are you going to sleep?" He asked as he watched her remove her jacket and head to her large bag of clothes.

"Your bed." She answered collecting clothes and placing them in a plastic grocery bag.

"Why?" he asked staying in one spot as she bustled about the room.

"Because there is no way the two of us can fit in that bed and be comfortable. Clara says I kick." Kallie told him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And why am I sleeping in here again?" he inquired, amused by her way of thinking.

"Because you and Dean are way to stubborn to work this out on your own, I don't want to find a Sammy-popsicle outside in the morning and I am way too tired to make you guys fix your issues tonight." Kallie summed up for the extremely tall hunter, heading towards the door and patting him on the shoulder, "So if you'll excuse me, I'll be going to bed now."

"Alright then. Good night, Kallie." Sam said, with a small smile as he let her pass.

"G'night Sammy." Kallie said as she made her way around him.

"Oh and Kal," Sam added, making her turn around to look at him as she opened the door, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And Sam," Kallie said tentatively before pausing, as if she was reluctant to say what she needed to, "Please don't try to leave tonight. Please. I won't be able to sleep if I think you might go."

Sam let out a labored breath, as if agreeing was painful, "I won't. You can rest easy."

Kallie sighed relieved, "I know I can, I just had to hear you say it. If I didn't you better believe I'd be in here tonight, kicking or not."

"Good to know." Sam smiled once, trying to regain the levity of the previous moment before grabbing the aforementioned bag she'd moved for him

"See ya at a more reasonable hour," Kallie said in farewell with one of her rare sincere smiles before shutting the door behind her.

Sam stood for a moment taking in all that happened that night before changing and heading to bed.

Sam didn't try to leave that night, not just because Kallie had swiped his keys and slept with them under her pillow but because despite how desperate he was to save Dean he couldn't make a liar of himself to Kallie. Despite her flaws and the horrors she had seen she still had this innocence and trust that Sam couldn't bring himself to shatter by doing something that could jeopardize his life and soul.

They were quiet the next day as they found and vanquished the spirit of chaos. Sam clearly didn't approve of what they were doing but without any further words it was clear that Dean would not back down and that Kallie agreed with him. So Sam watched as his brother and friend trapped and destroyed the entity of anarchy and what Sam viewed as one of Dean's last real hopes with salt, a seal drawn on the floor, fire and some holy energy on Kallie's part. Sam was determined to never give up and to save Dean but as the months ticked by and Kallie and Dean's moral compasses refused more and more of Sam's plans he began to feel hopeless. He began to fear he couldn't save his brother and despite how close he had come to Kallie, he began to believe that not even her optimism or all of her holy potential could possibly ever be enough to fill the hole losing Dean would cause.

"_(And he tells everyone a story,  
'Cause he thinks his life is boring),  
And he fights, so you won't ignore him,_

_'Cause that's his biggest fear  
And he cries, but you'll rarely see him do it,  
And he loves, but he's scared to use it,  
So he hides behind the music,  
'Cause he likes it that way_

And he knows, he's so much more than worthless,  
He needs to find the surface,  
'Cause he's, starting to get nervous."

_This is a Call- Thousand Foot Krutch_

**Author's Note: ****Hey lookit! I am back and it has not been ages! Aren't you proud of me?**

**This might have something to do with the fact that though I had not been able to get my sister/best friend/roommate to watch Supernatural with me for months. Then we see two a few weeks ago. In the past week we have watched five. SCORE! I am so glad I bought season five cuz now we are nearly done with the first disc.**

**Goodness I love that hot angel. Oh I do I do I do.**

**So now I am inspired. My muse wandered into Hogwarts and Narnia for awhile, leaving me plenty distracted but it is back in the Impala where it belongs making me a happy camper. Come pitch your tent beside mine and tell me what you thought. **

**I hope to continue this spree of frequent updates but I will need your help. Thus I issue a challenge. I will post the next chapter when I get 2 reviews. That is it. if I just get two reviews for this chapter I will be more than happy to post the already written next one.**

**Oh and here's some incentive: Castiel's in the next one. **

**and if that is not enough incentive then it might interest you to know Gabriel is also joing us next time.**

**MWUHAHAHA!**

**now make both us happy and review for me darlings! i only need two to deliver these unto you.**

**bottom line:**

******i liked this chapter. i like their bond. do you?**


	11. You Could Be Happy

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. If you recognize it, it probably means it's not mine I am just playing in Kripke and his friends' playground.**

**Author's Note: Yay! You guys have made me so happy. Three reviews for one chapter hasn't happened since chapter 3 for this story. I love you all and would send chocolate and teddy bears to you three if I could. So a big hug and a shout out to JediPrincess-Knight (my always appreciated self-proclaimed stalker. I adore you), bekkers29 and kurounue13. thanks guys for completing my review challenge!**

**Okay, on with the story and onwards to Castiel (whom I have loved and missed and wish my sense of plot would allow me to write every chapter).**

Chapter 11-

You Could Be Happy

_You could be happy and I won't know  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go_

And all the things that I wished I had not said  
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were  
But not o_ur last days of silence, screams and blur_

**Four Months Later**

"_We still have a month left," _Castiel could hear Sam say down below, "_We could still figure something out."_

"I _know, Sam, I haven't given up_." Kallie was saying to the Winchester in a motel room in Nevada, "_I didn't say that a miracle couldn't happen. I know miracles happen everyday, I simply said that one didn't look likely at this point._"

_"Well __don't. _W_e can still save him."_ Sam said loudly to his companion that only the listening angel could hear, _"We have to save him."_

"I don't have to ask you what you are doing, do I?" Sophie's light melodic voice asked from beside him.

"You are as prescient as I." Castiel replied, eyes still closed as he watched Kallie and heard her voice echoing in his ears.

Being in the plane of heaven closest to Earth, the angels took on the shape of their vessels as they observed the humans down below. This place was sacred and holy, yet close enough to Earth that they could almost touch it, with emotions and senses running higher. Castiel had spent a great deal of time here over the last few months. This was most unusual for angels not stationed there but when he wasn't performing his duties, Castiel remained there most of the time in a visage that resembled that of his last vessel, Daniel, due to his lack of a current one.

Knowing that the angel beside him in the antechamber nearly always had a purpose in everything she did, Castiel opened his eyes, breaking his concentration, causing the image and voice of his warrior to fade away, "Why are you here?"

"You've been spending a lot of time in this plane." Sophie noted, purposefully not answering.

"I have to watch over her." Castiel answered the unasked question

"That's not strictly speaking your job anymore." the blonde angel pointed out.

"You're right," Castiel agreed grimly, a dark gleam entering his eyes, "It's yours. But you are not providing direction of any sort."

"She's on the right path. She doesn't need it." Sophie informed her fellow angel intently.

"I've observed her asking for guidance on numerous occasions. Why haven't you gone to her?" Castiel inquired, his eyes boring into her.

"Because she needs to find her own feet. There's a chance that things won't get better and if she's going to make it, she doesn't need an angel popping down every five minutes to make sure she's okay. If things don't end well, she'll need to be able to stand on her own." Sophie defended, brushing her long locks over her shoulder and out of her face.

"If things don't end well." Castiel repeated quietly, "You mean if it's decided that I never return to Earth."

Sophie let out a deep breath, "Yes. That stubborn girl down there is one of our greatest warriors, but she loves you so much. I know that if we don't back off a little now then she won't be able to survive never being with you again. I know I may seem harsh and indifferent in my treatment of her, but it will help her the most in the end. I need to put some distance between her and us for now, Castiel, even if that displeases you."

Castiel shut his eyes for a brief moment before returning her stare, "You are right. I have to trust your judgment in this."

Sophie nodded in approval as the two angels lapsed into silence. They had known each other a long time, and a certain understanding and trust had developed between them. They had fought many wars together and despite whatever disagreements they might have they knew that if either of them did something, that in the end it was because it was best. Though the relationship between angels stationed together wouldn't normally be called friends, the deep bond between Castiel and Sophie was pretty damn close. Each would defend the other against any foe without question. They often came to each other for help and assistance and made quite a team. When Castiel was charged with the training of a Warrior of God, Sophie had been the obvious choice for Kallie's testing. Every warrior of God must undergo testing to see how well they had been trained and if they could handle this enormous task of helping to safeguard the earth. Kallie passed the strenuous testing the angel had dished at her with grace and incredible strength, earning Sophie's respect and friendship.

During the time Sophie spent with Castiel and Kallie, it became immediately apparent that there was something incredibly potent and strong between the two. While angel-human relationships were traditionally frowned upon, Sophie kept his secret. She had never seen Castiel as happy as he had been with Kallie and there was no way that Sophie would ever jeopardize that, no matter what rules. She kept the secret for the four years that Castiel and Kallie were together until Castiel's sacrifice upon which time the others, namely Raphael, discovered his affair and demanded that it be ended, revoking his privileges to earth and refusing to resurrect Daniel and allow him to return to Kallie. They realized that Kallie still required angel assistance and so assigned Sophie, the natural choice as she was the one who tested the warrior. Castiel may not always approve of how Sophie went about things but now, considering Sophie had extensive dealings with humans, he would always realize that she was acting in Kallie's best interest despite how it pained him to not be with her. Through everything, his trust in her never wavered and he knew that she was speaking the truth now.

After a few minutes of silence, Castiel's eyebrows knit together, "You sound more human everyday."

"That tends to happen when you spend more time observing and being amongst humans than you do angels." Sophie said by way of explanation.

"You continue to astound me." Castiel said simply, not complimenting, just stating a fact.

"Doesn't she just?" the jovial tone of Gabriel resounded from the entry arch of their observation room.

"Gabriel." Sophie said, voice full of happiness as she met the archangel half-way. Angels are not big on the touchy-feely but there was something indescribably intimate in the way Gabriel and Sophie held each other's shoulders, smiles lighting up their faces as their eyes met. Sophie laughed once, euphoric in her love's presence as he broke their eye contact and brought her into an embrace.

"Castiel." Gabriel acknowledged over Sophie's head.

"Gabriel." Castiel replied, barely containing his anger and frustration.

"You're not still mad about me interrupting you and your lovebird, are you?" Gabriel asked exasperatedly as he let Sophie go.

"You violated her mind's sanctuary." Castiel stated crossly.

"On orders, Cas." Gabriel reminded his subordinate, "And besides, you trained her to be a tough cookie. I knew she could take it."

"Those orders were not from God. You had no compulsion to follow them." Castiel fumed quietly.

"I don't know if you've ever been blasted for defying one of Raphael's suggestions but it's not pleasant in the slightest. So yeah, I broke up your not-so super-secret pow-wow. Get over it and be grateful he chose to send me instead of someone less sympathetic to your cause." Gabriel replied in defense. "Would you rather have had him come down himself perhaps?"

Castiel looked as if he was building up to a response when Sophie intervened, meeting his eyes with an forceful gaze, placing a hand on both of their shoulders, "Enough. What's done is done. Kallie was not permanently damaged by the encounter. Let's leave the past behind us and move on, shall we?"

Castiel held eye contact with the angel of wisdom for another moment as her light blue eyes bored into his before turning his gaze to assess the archangel objectively.

"Very well." Castiel finally relented.

"Fine by me." Gabriel retorted amiably, clapping his hands together once, "Now we can get down to business."

"What business?" Sophie asked, confused as she turned to look on her other half.

"I actually came here to give a heads up to Mr. Stick-in-the-Mud here," Gabriel answered, jabbing a thumb in Castiel's direction before getting serious and meeting his eyes, "Raphael's looking for you. Now don't go asking what for because I don't know. I just thought you could use some advanced warning, given your past dealings with Raphy."

"Thank you." Castiel uttered seriously, even though he couldn't quite understand why the archangel would take such a thing into his consideration.

Gabriel seemed to deduce this, responding, "Don't mention it. I did it because this one would have been extremely upset if I knew Raphael was coming and didn't warn you."

Sophie nodded in agreement with her soul mate's assessment, "Yes, yes, I would have. Any idea when he's coming?"

"I would say right about now." Gabriel answered quietly, his eyes on the archway he had only recently come through.

Sure enough only half of a second after he said it the fearsome enforcer appeared in his severe, wide-eyed, dark skinned, male vessel.

"Leave." He commanded in his deep baritone of Sophie and Gabriel.

"You know, you could try a please every once in awhile. Smiles go a lot farther than your current brooding facial expression." Gabriel quipped to his equal. Sophie meanwhile took the time to exchange a glance with Castiel that clearly said, _Be careful with him and come find me when this is over._

Castiel nodded almost imperceptibly in reply. Raphael merely deepened his disapproving scowl in response to his fellow archangel's joke.

"Or not. I guess that works too. Why fix what's not broke?" Gabriel said good-naturedly as if Raphael had only turned down an offer to play catch, taking Sophie by the arm and heading out of the airy chamber, "Come along, dear. I can tell when we're not wanted. Be a good boy, Cas."

With a vague wave from Gabriel in Castiel's direction, the angel couple passed by the imposing archangel and left, leaving the two alone.

"You're still here." Raphael said by way of greeting.

"It is the right of all the lord's angels to use this place to look after his children." Castiel stated simply.

"Don't play coy Castiel." Raphael rumbled, stepping closer, "You were advised to stop all contact with the warrior, yet you continue to watch her for weeks at a time. I never pegged you for a stupid man, only a foolish one. Was our warning when we intervened your little liaison with the human not enough? Do you wish for us to take it a step further?"

"I am breaking none of God's commandments. I am ensuring the safety and well-being of one of his chosen warriors. You have not the authority to punish me for these actions." Castiel challenged.

"Maybe not. But it is wrong for angels to mate with humans and if you continue down this road you will find me at the end of it, ready to smite you for you insolence." Raphael threatened.

"No I won't. You know Kallie's future; what she is meant to be and to do. When she fulfills her destiny, not even you can stop this." Castiel reminded his superior, with a small smile in his voice.

"That future is uncertain. Things change, Castiel. Your very actions could be changing that outcome." Raphael hinted darkly.

Castiel paused, knowing he feared this very thing but spoke back strongly, "No. This too will come to pass. I still have faith. Do not get in my way just because you are lacking."

Raphael did not reply but continued to stare at Castiel in an unpleasant manner. Neither spoke for a moment as they silently seethed at each other.

After a moment, Castiel took in a breath spoke, "I assume you are here for a reason other than to voice your disapproval of my actions."

"Yes." Raphael said simply, "Things are being set in motion that will lead to serious repercussions later down the line. If things unfold the way we predict they will, we may need you to set things back on path."

"What would you have me do?" Castiel inquired, hiding his surprise at the turn of the conversation.

"You will be told in time. Consider yourself on probation. I will be watching you closely in the months to come. Your actions will define whether or not we will be able to use you for this task." Raphael implied.

"And if I don't?" Castiel implored, probing for information.

"Then we choose another angel and you do not return to the Earth." Castiel managed to react infinitesimally to the news but Raphael still caught it, "Did I not mention that this task we may require of you would take you back to Earth within proximity of your precious former charge?"

"No, you didn't." Castiel answered grimly.

"So you can see that defying me won't get the results you desire." Raphael teased, knowing he had Castiel right where he wanted him.

Castiel realized this too and asked in a resigned fashion, "What is it you want from me?"

"Your obedience. I am aware that your situation may change in the future but for now, she is human. As long as you remain in heaven, I want you to stay away from the St. James human. She is no longer your responsibility."

Castiel looked down, eyes boring into the white marble. He always knew it would come down to this in the end. His almost-human emotions were still fraught with intense worry over the mortal he had inexplicably fell in love with. Chagrinned he asked, "Then who is?"

"Dean Winchester." Raphael responded, causing Castiel's head to shoot back up in surprise, "Oh yes, one of the humans your warrior was chosen to protect. There is a reason why we sent one of our elites, that insolent, cocky human has a greater destiny before him then he realizes."

"If he's so important, why not break his deal, save him from the pit?" Castiel asked, more frustrated than ever.

"Because it is impossible as long as Lilith remains hidden. Besides, it is yet to be seen if such drastic measures involving the mortal will be necessary." Raphael answered, calm, unwavering and unmoved by the emotions Castiel was wracked by, "For now, you will watch him and nothing else."

Castiel realized that things could be a lot worse. He knew he wouldn't be able to track Kallie's every move anymore but recognized that he could have been a lot worse off and chose to accept his new assignment, "Very well."

"Good. Oh and Castiel," Raphael said, smug as ever, as he made to leave, his business done, when he stopped and turned slightly, "I'll be watching you. Don't let me catch you wavering, I can promise you that you will not like what follows if you do."

"I won't." Castiel pledged, knowing all too well the results of the wrath of the intimidating archangel.

Raphael nodded curtly and departed.

Castiel let out a sigh of relief at the absence of the other angel. He knew he'd be walking a narrow line for awhile, but, if he didn't walk out of bounds he may soon be back with Kallie and for that he would do almost anything.

With that in mind, Castiel allowed his eyes to close, his mind focusing in on the louder, hard-rock-loving Winchester, feeling strangely optimistic.

_You could be happy, I hope you are  
You made me happier than I'd been by far_

Do the things that you always wanted to  
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl  
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

_You Could Be Happy- Snow Patrol_

**Author's Note: and once more: DUN DUN DA-DUN!**

**BAHAHA! Yeah, I liked writing this chapter. I love Castiel, I love Gabriel and I love Sophie. I love Gabriel and Sophie together. I loved writing the over dramatic and intimidating Gabriel.**

**I really enjoyed this chapter.**

**Did you?**

**Oh and just wait, next chapter is so freaking intense and about twice as long as most of the others. It is a doozy ladies and gentlemen. But it is very pivotal and important with new information and dramatic events.**

**Review and I shall post a lot quicker.**

**Love you guys, show you love me back and give me some input. Fin loves herself some input.**

**Ta Ta For Now!**


	12. Map of the Problematique

**Disclaimer: Playing with other people's toys here people, I only own Kallie, Sophie and the plot.**

**Author's Note: YATAAAA! I am back. With the longest chapter ever. I would have been back sooner but editing this thing was a bit of a nightmare. 12 pages people. But this stuff needed to happen in this chapter. This chapter is a doozy, very emotional and stuff. It is intense man!**

**I won't be that long up here today I just have to give a shout out to my reviewers bekkers29 and JediPrincess-Knight as well as everyone else who has favorited or story alerted. You guys rock my world.**

**Also more love to my beta yazsha whom I love.**

**Okay this chap is long enough without my rambling.**

**Have at!**

Chapter 12

Map of the Problematique

_Fear and panic in the air  
I want to be free  
From desolation and despair  
And I feel like everything I saw  
Is being swept away  
When I refuse to let you go_

_I can't get it right._

**A Month Later**

Dean was going to hell. Kallie knew this now. Despite their tireless efforts of the last six months to stay Dean's fate, it was obvious, this last day of Dean's contract, there was no way around it.

Sam refused to see it still. He still held the hope of salvation for his brother. Kallie worried what would happen to Sam when they failed. Kallie now sat with Dean in Bobby's old living room while Sam was out with Bobby getting some equipment for what Bobby summed up to be a "find Lilith" device.

Kallie liked Bobby; she liked him a lot even if it took awhile for him to trust her. But she had understood; hunters tended to not believe in God, ironically, so Warriors of God are a little hard to swallow. She was glad that Sam had Bobby now, because despite how close they had become, she knew Bobby would be able to console him when Dean was taken in a way she never could.

Kallie and Dean now sat in silence, after making a show of an upbeat attitude for Sam, Dean now seemed to be actually absorbing what was about to happen now that his little brother wasn't there to fret over it.

Kallie wanted to break the silence, to assure Dean that they would save him from Hell, but Dean and her had long since agreed not to lie to each other.

Finally seeming to have enough of his thoughts, Dean spoke, "So Kallie, tell me something I don't know about you. It seems like we still barely know each other."

Kallie thought on that, trying to decide where to begin so she just dove in, "Well you've probably notice from all of my napkin and motel stationary sketches that I'm a bit of an amateur artist. I like to paint, draw, and sketch whenever I have a free moment. I sell some of my works online and give them as gifts mostly. If my life had been normal that's probably what I have done with my life. But as it is I haven't been able to draw much lately."

"We all have to have our hobbies, not everyone can be a gun enthusiast like yours truly," Dean nodded, and then said, "Sorry, you were saying."

He then lapsed into silence allowing Kallie to continue with a small smile as she continued haltingly, "No it's fine. My mom was the one who encouraged me to pursue art. She told me that just because I grew up less than conventionally was no reason for me not to have a hobby. She died when I was 12, so I try not to talk about her much. When she was alive, she taught Sunday school at all of the African villages on my father's mission trips."

Dean tried not to think about his own mother, the woman he barely knew, so instead he asked, "What about your dad?"

"He was like I've said, a missionary. There was no doubt that that was what he was supposed to be doing. He thrived on saving people, it was his calling. He tried to take care of me best he could when Mom died, but there were times when he just didn't know what to do for me, a teenage girl. When I was 18 I went to Italy and studied art for a college education. He died a few years back of a heart attack, the villagers couldn't do anything for him. The minister who had been traveling with him at the time got him over here for a funeral. I'd been traveling with Castiel at the time. I always thought it a shame that my dad never got to meet him. Not that we could tell him but my dad would've been honored to meet an angel and been glad to know I was being taken care of."

"I'm sorry." Dean said quietly.

"It's okay." Kallie responded, "Professions such as ours are full of orphans. I miss my parents but I've learned to live through it. I believe that they are at peace now and that's all I need."

"You have a lot of faith." Dean commented.

"It's what keeps me going." Kallie responded modestly, before adding, "It's also a part of the job description I suppose."

"And you're happy with this life? This warrior business is what you want?" Dean asked, genuinely curious.

Kallie thought for a moment, mulling over her response carefully before voicing her response, "Yes, I am. This is never something that I planned exactly, but it's something that I feel as though I have to do. I've known about the supernatural my whole life, and there was never any question that I had to do something about it. Being raised a Christian I couldn't sit by and let these people be slaughtered when I could help. So when he came, when Castiel came, and told me what he was, what I could be and what I could do, I accepted it without question; this was my destiny, Castiel was just the one who helped me realize it."

"You and he were pretty close, weren't you?" Dean asked, surprising Kallie with his perceptiveness.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you realized that." Kallie replied, staring out into space.

"I figured something was up; you're different when you talk about him, and you don't talk about him much." Dean explained, well aware that he was breaching the touchy-feely barrier, but he figured since he'd be going to hell that night, there wasn't much point in putting on a macho façade.

"No, I don't suppose I do." Kallie allowed with a small smile.

"So what happened?" he inquired, his curiosity finally getting the better of him after 6 months of wondering. Kallie paused, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes like she tended to do when she was anxious. Dean caught the gesture and knew what it meant, adding on, "Hey, who am I going to tell?"

"It's not that." She assured him, eyes on her fidgeting hands, "It's just difficult. I don't like to think about it."

Dean nodded his head once in understanding, deciding not to press the issue. Kallie found herself fiddling with the ends of her hair and quickly slapped her hands down on her knees in an attempt to make herself get easy, before finally muttering, "Ah, screw it. Dean, do you really wanna know?"

Dean jerked his head to look at her as if to make sure he heard her correctly, "If you're sure you wanna tell me."

"Now or never, right?" Kallie joked, mentally preparing herself for unloading her story for the first time, "Okay, where do I start?"

"I hear the beginning's a good place." Dean quipped, trying to break through her tension.

"Shut up, smart ass, I'm getting there." Kallie fired back, tossing a worn, and threadbare throw pillow at Dean from where she sat on the couch. Kallie felt so grateful for the sarcastic hunter on the chair beside her that the idea of losing him that night felt like a punch to the stomach. For the first time she could remember, she dove into her memories of Cas to escape the pain of her current fear, "Long story short: I fell in love with the angel who trained me and nearly 2 years ago, he sacrificed himself to save me. He's been confined to heaven ever since."

Dean picked up the pillow as he absorbed her words before giving her a quizzical look, "Is that even allowed?"

Kallie let out a chuckle, he would ask that, "Ha, not exactly. You could say it's frowned upon."

"Having a secret affair with an angel, I never knew you were so bad." Dean comically chastised as he tossed the pillow back causing Kallie to laugh out loud. He smiled, glad to have amused her for the moment, even if it was fleeting. Her laughter died quickly and Dean saw her hug the pillow close, trying to keep a brave face on, but he could tell she was holding in how she really felt.

"I'm sorry," Dean found himself saying for the second time that night at something he had no control over; sure he was the one with the one-way ticket to the pit, but he was learning things about his friend that made it hard for him to believe she was as lighthearted as she was.

"Ah, don't be." Kallie shrugged off Dean's pity, though she was touched by his sympathy, "The four years we were actually together were the best of my life. I don't regret it, despite how it ended, so you shouldn't either."

"Okey dokey then," he responded, trying to keep it light before asking something he never would under normal circumstances, "Would I sound like a chick if I asked what made you go for him?" Kallie giggled at him for a second, causing Dean to say, "What, the guy's an angel and off-limits, I gotta ask?"

"I suppose you would," Kallie answered, still grinning, "but I'll tell you anyway. It's hard to describe. It wasn't physical though, the body wasn't his for one thing."

Dean did a double take at the new information, "Say what now? Angels take hosts? What do they do, possess the first poor bastard they come across?"

"No, definitely not." Kallie answered fervently, realizing how much of angel technicalities the brothers were ignorant to due to her taboo approach of all things angel since Castiel died, "Not everybody can be an angel's vessel. They are made of tougher stuff, this can be passed along in bloodlines though. So Cas had to find, test and get Daniel's permission before being allowed to use his body."

"Hm." Dean grunted, eyebrows raised at the new information, "So where's Daniel now?"

"Dead." Kallie answered grimly.

"What, does being an angel's meatsuit dry you up and kill you if they leave?" he questioned.

"No, it normally doesn't. Archangels do, but the normal ones like Castiel don't." She explained, looking absentmindedly at her legs stretched out before her.

"Then what happened?" Dean pressed, caught up in the new information and fascinated against his wishes.

"When Castiel left he had to dispel a tremendous amount of celestial energy, which Daniel, as his vessel, should have been able to handle. I'm not sure, though, because I didn't see it, but since he was so close and because of his hatred for Castiel, I think Azazel did something to ruin Daniel as a vessel." Kallie thought aloud.

"Yellow Eyes?" Dean asked, shocked, "How do you know him?"

"You could say he's at the top of my 'Go To Hell and Never Come Back or I Will Bring Hell to You' list. Thanks for killing him by the way." She said nonchalantly as if speaking on the weather.

"Whoa, back up a minute, what's your beef with him?" Dean asked, his gaze fixed on her intently.

"We've developed a long, bloody, and all around unpleasant history these last seven years. Cas and I killed him,; he left me dangling in a warehouse for a week. We sealed him in hell, he crawled back out and tainted Castiel's vessel. If I were melodramatic I would've called him my archenemy. He's screwed over so many good people: me, Daniel, your parents, Sam, the other children, and especially you."

"Me? What'd he do to me that's 'especially'?" Dean inquired, surprised.

"Damn it." Kallie muttered, slapping her forehead in regret, "I told myself I wasn't going to tell you about that."

"What are you talking about?" Dean continued, determined to get answers, "What don't I know?"

Kallie let out a frustrated breath, debating about telling him, before giving in a little, "Basically, Azazel screwed you over more than you know."

"Why haven't you mentioned something about it before now?" Dean said in a frustrated manner.

"Because it's a big 'coulda-woulda-shoulda'. What's the point in telling you about a might 'have been'?" Kallie answered, still annoyed at her slip up.

"Well I want to know anyway." Dean countered, stubborn as ever.

"Fine." Kallie relented, flattening the pillow on her lap and meeting his gaze, "You were born into a family that has an incredible amount of holy potential. You were born with more than anyone else I have ever run across in my line of work."

"So? What does that mean?" Dean urged her on, not fully comprehending exactly what she was saying.

"That means," she continued, brushing past his flippant attitude, "with that much holy potential, two paths were lined out for you as your birthright: to be a warrior of God or a vessel. Plans were made; your path up to that fork in the road was preordained. You were going to be raised by two loving, protective, God-fearing parents. You would have risen in your community as an upright young man and an inspiration to others. When you were a young adult, old enough to make your own responsible decisions and be held accountable for them, you would have been visited by an angel. He would have enlightened you on your destiny, probably leaning more towards you training to be a Warrior of God, as I am, one of a very small and elite race that are vital to the battle at the end of days. He also would have told you of the life of a vessel, how in the coming war, heaven will need more to host the most powerful angels. You'd have probably chosen to be a warrior, because despite the different upbringing you had, you'd always rather be a soldier than a puppet. When you chose, you would have been trained, tested, and blessed as I have, before eventually leading the charge against the demons in the Apocalypse."

"But that didn't happen." Dean stated the obvious into the silence following her information outpour, "Why didn't it?"

"Azazel." Kallie summed it up in a word, "What he did, killing your mother, poisoning your brother, and creating that distance between you and your father, the man who should have loved you as a son and not treated you as soldier to order around, ate away at your potential. It darkened you, Dean. You were meant for such greatness, but he stole that from you. And I know that you have done your best and have saved so many lives, but you were meant for so much more and deserve better than what you've had."

Dean didn't say anything as the implications of her words sunk in. Kallie began playing with her angel wing necklace anxiously, "I'm sorry. I know I sound hokey and silly and that I am laying all of this on you. I didn't tell you because it's not possible anymore and I didn't want you to agonize over it."

Dean stared into space, no sure what to make of the possibility she had spun of a past he might have had. He didn't know how to react, whether or not to be even angrier at the long dead demon, or even if he wanted that path that Kallie had described. It just seemed so idyllic, living in a world where he'd been raised by both parents in a stable home. He wouldn't have grown up in motels alone to fend for himself and his brother for weeks on end. He wouldn't have been switching schools every month and killing things on the weekend. But did he even want that? He had gotten so accustomed to life in his car, with only his family, he never once seriously thought about him having a normal life. And he'd been helping people his whole life. But didn't Kallie say he would have been doing that anyway even if it wasn't in the same way? Maybe that was part of this holy mumbo-jumbo Kallie was always talking about.

"So what happened to it, my holy potential?" He asked tentatively.

"You still have it but it is dimmed and uncontained." Kallie answered calmly, now messing with loose thread hanging off the couch cushion.

"What does that mean?" He questioned, trying to wrap his head around it all.

"It means that there is a bit of a deadline for holy potential. It has to be honed and fine-tuned. You have to be trained to use it by a certain age. You still have a large amount but… it's hard to explain, to put it simply it is not as bright as before and the lack of training has made it unstable. If you were to try to use it, it'd be dangerous. You could unleash too much, knock yourself out and decimate a town because you didn't know what you were doing." She answered calmly.

"Yikes." Dean concluded.

"Exactly," Kallie concurred, discarding the string she had pulled out.

"Does Sam have some of it too?" Dean asked.

"Hard to say." Kallie stated.

"Why's that?" He inquired.

"His demonic influence is blocking it if he does, so I can't exactly pick it up." Kallie explained, eyebrows furrowing as she thought about it.

" 'Pick it up'?" Dean repeated, "Like holy radar?"

"Sorta. You know how I can kinda sense if someone or something is demonic?" she asked as he nodded, "Well it's easier with the other side. I can pick up on holy potential, which is useful if I nearly use up all of mine and need to tap into someone else's. I can also sense if angels are nearby. Angels don't tend to go for being inconspicuous but I can always tell it someone is playing host to one."

"Well that is wildly useful." Dean noted, impressed. "Did you see it in me? Is that how you knew about my so-called holy potential?"

"Not exactly, sure I was able to sense your potential as soon as I met you but I already knew before then." Kallie informed him, "The angels mostly filled me in before I met you."

"Huh. 'Mostly'. Except about my deal. I seem to remember them leaving that out." Dean recalled.

"Well sure, but Lilith's always been a sneaky little hell-bitch, so it's not so surprising in hindsight." She commented fairly.

Dean shook his head as if trying to remember what he was going to say before continuing, "Well, that was fascinating; a little confusing on some counts. How come you never mentioned any of that before? The holy potential, the angel radar, any of it?"

"Most of it never came up, some was just too painful." She told him simply, finally putting the throw pillow back on the couch so she wouldn't fiddle with it anymore.

"Well I think it's good that you told me." He said.

"You know what?" she started, not looking at him, "I am too. I never realized I never told anyone before. I think it took what's happening tonight to get me to finally stop nursing old wounds. I realize now, I have to get past what happened with Castiel. I just need to keep moving forward."

Dean had nothing to say to that. 'I'm glad', 'you're welcome' and 'I'm sorry' all seemed pointless and inadequate at that time. Neither spoke for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. The sound of a car pulling up outside seemed to snap them out of their separate reveries. The two met each other's gaze and stood up.

Kallie looked at him furtively and said quickly before she could change her mind, "In case there isn't a chance later."

And before Dean could ask her what she meant, Kallie had crossed the distance between them and had wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. Though Dean typically viewed hugs as chick-flick moments and discouraged them, he understood Kallie's urgency in this moment and how emotional she was about things like death, and hugged her back for all he could.

"I'm going to miss you, you big idiot." She whispered in his ear, taking in his smell, committing everything about him to memory, for fear, despite the 25 hours left this was the last time. Before Dean could tell her anything back, Kallie had broken the embrace, turning away to wipe her eyes as he could hear Bobby unlocking the front door.

"We're back, you idjits." Bobby yelled in typical Bobby-manner when he'd made his way in.

Dean shot Kallie a concerned look that clearly said, 'are you okay?' prompting Kallie to give him a weak smile, mouthing, 'I'll be fine' before calling back loudly, "Coming!"

Bracing herself, she led Dean to the entry way where Sam and Bobby were each carrying boxes into the house.

"You get it all?" Kallie asked, motioning out the front door and towards the car.

"Yeah, this is it." Bobby answered in his gruff voice pointing deeper into the house with the tips of his fingers, "let's get this set up in the study."

The four spent the next half hour getting the alleged locator ready. When the map was set, the incantation defined and everything prepared, Bobby chanted in Latin which yielded the pointer, giving them Lilith's location.

"New Harmony, Indiana. That's not too far." Kallie concluded.

"Let's get going then." Sam suggested, "if we leave now we can make it before Dean's deal is up."

"Hold up, boy genius, we need a plan." Bobby pointed out.

"Bobby's right, we can't just go in there half-cocked," Dean agreed, "If she catches onto us, she could summon up another horde of demons and we don't have enough man power to take them all out this time."

"Yeah but we have the Colt this time." Sam insisted.

"We'll definitely need it too, but it's still one gun with limited ammunition against Lilith's private army. We'd be out-matched." Bobby reminded the younger brother.

"I could try blasting a circumference to keep them away while you take on Lilith." Kallie proposed, not terribly optimistic about the plan.

"Yeah, but who knows how long a release could keep 'em at bay," Dean said, indicating a flaw in her plan, "and you said yourself that your holy potential isn't limitless, you could wipe yourself out if you try it too much. That'd put you in danger and leave us a man short too."

Kallie hung her head, realizing he was right.

"What we need is more firepower." Bobby stated, "one little gun won't be enough to do diddly-squat if we want to take out Lilith and get past her goons."

"I could try exorcising them." Sam said quietly but the other three could still hear loud and clear.

"No." Dean stated, putting his foot down.

"I know I can do it. If you've got the gun, I'm exorcising and Kallie's blasting them, we might be able to do some good." Sam continued.

"No." Dean repeated, "We are not going there again. I won't have you going all demonic over what could end up being a suicide run."

"But this could tip the odds in our favor." Sam advocated fervently.

"Sammy, no. we'll find another way." Dean insisted.

Sam hung his head and bit his lip fighting back an angry response, realizing that Dean would never give up.

"Um, I have an idea." Kallie stated hesitantly, as the three older men looked up at her, "It may be a long shot and she could say no, but if I ask nicely, Sophie might temporarily relinquish an angel blade."

"You really think one of your angel buddies is gonna give up one of their most closely guarded weapons 'cause you ask?" Bobby asked skeptically, "I think they've proved they don't give a damn."

"No, I know they do," Kallie countered vehemently, "I know that they don't work like you want them to but these are the good guys and their rules are for a reason. They would've fried Lilith if they could so it's not their fault."

"Easy, Kal, I was just saying." Bobby shot back, "Feel free to ask away, it'd be nice if she cooperated, I'm just lookin' at their track record and sayin' it's not likely."

"Well I'm gonna give it a shot unless any of you can come up with any better solutions." Kallie challenged, so on edge and frustrated at the whole thing that it was hard to just stand there as they talked themselves in circles. She knew that getting custody of an angel blade was unlikely but she had to try.

So when Bobby and the boys did nothing but stare at her in mixtures of guilt, hopelessness, and awkwardness, Kallie muttered a quick, "That's what I thought."

And with that she practically stormed out of the house and out to one of the sheds on Bobby's property that was almost barn-like. It was dimly lit but Kallie didn't care, she stalked into the center of the structure and crossed her arms and just steadied her breathing for a minute before closing her eyes once and calling, not too loud but above a normal speaking voice, "Sophie!"

Kallie stood there for another minute, eyes still closed when she heard Sophie's voice say from one of the doorways, "I was wondering when you'd call me again. I was beginning to feel forgotten."

"Sophie." Kallie said, more relieved than annoyed and quickly went over and hugged her angel friend, "I've missed you."

Sophie chuckled once as she hugged her strange human friend back, "Don't tell the rest of the garrison this, but I've missed you too."

"Our secret then," Kallie agreed with a smile as they pulled apart.

"Let me guess, you want to know if we know where Lilith is yet." Sophie predicted, placing her hands on her hips.

"Not this time." Kallie corrected, "We know she's in New Harmony, Indiana."

"Aw shucks." Sophie muttered, "The one time we actually know, you beat me to it."

"You know?" Kallie said excitedly, her voice rising with her intensity, "Are you gonna do something? Can you guys stop her now that you know where she is?"

"No dice, cupcake." Sophie stopped Kallie while she was still ahead with a few choice colloquial phrases, "We know where she is but it's not doing us any good. That demon skank may be broadcasting her location but she's got enough anti-angel protection up to keep out the entire host of heaven. I was actually about to come down and tell you but you beat me to the punch."

"Okay, what are we gonna do about it?" Kallie asked, hoping desperately for some sort of heavenly back up plan.

"Well our plan was going to be to send some warriors after her but the protection she has up keeps even warriors from teleporting in within a hundred miles. So they'd all have to drive and unfortunately you are the only one in the area." Sophie informed Kallie of the bad news.

"What does that mean?" Kallie asked, afraid she already knew the answer.

"It means that you and the boys are all we've got." Sophie told her though clearly not happy with it.

"That's it?" Kallie asked, her voice rising with growing anger and hysteria, "We're on our own? Are you kidding me? How are the four of us supposed to take down the most powerful demon and all of her closest friends? Are you kidding me?"

"Easy, Kallie, I don't like it either. In fact I think it downright sucks but we have nothing else. I would be right there with you with an entire garrison if I could. I wish we could send back up but there are not enough Warriors of God and we simply can't risk all of the ones we have on one demon. I really am sorry, Kallie. I would do something if I could." Sophie told the human earnestly.

"I know," Kallie said, subdued and a little upset by the prognosis of the fight she had ahead of her, before she remembered the other reason she had called Sophie down for, "in fact there is something, but I can guarantee you won't like it."

"Uh huh. I'm sure." Sophie stated, "Lay it on me."

"I need to borrow your angel blade." Kallie said bracing for Sophie's response.

"Of course you do." Sophie replied sardonically, "You have always pushed at boundaries. You've already gone for an angel; why not go after one of their knives?"

"Sophie please. I am so scared. I don't want to lose Dean but I don't think that there is anything I can do. Sam is talking about using his demonic gifts again. And since there won't be any angel cavalry coming in to save the day, I don't know what other option I have. So please, please do this for me." Kallie pleaded, her fear so plain in her voice that Sophie's heart couldn't help but go out to her.

"Okay, fine." Sophie relented, pulling out the sacred weapon and it's sheath from the back of her belt under her jacket, "But remember I'm breaking 50 rules here, and keep in mind how horribly bad it'll be if you let the demons get their hands on this. You have to promise to get this back to me once this is all over."

"I will. I promise." Kallie assured her, wiping away her unshed tears as she accepted the sheath.

"And be careful. The place Lilith is at, is in a normal neighborhood, she's on what you could call shore leave." Sophie cautioned.

"What does that mean?" Kallie asked, sticking the sheath in her pocket, not sure she wanted to know.

"She likes little girls. Her idea of a good time is possessing one and terrorizing her family. It won't be pretty but if you want to take out Lilith, now is your only shot." Sophie informed her grimly.

Kallie nodded, hating the horrible truth, "I understand."

"Good, now you can't say I never do anything for you." Sophie reminded her gravely, already anxious about relinquishing the sacred dagger.

"Oh I never will again." Kallie guaranteed whole heartedly.

"You have to be careful Kallie," Sophie insisted, almost concerned at how attached she had grown to the human, "Castiel would probably kill me if he knew I was letting you go, so please do me a favor and not die."

At this strange expression of affection, Kallie couldn't help but go over and give her angel protector another hug and whisper, "I'll try my best. I'll try real hard not to die."

"Good." Sophie declared, as she let Kallie go, "Now you should get going."

"Okay," Kallie replied reluctantly turning to go.

"So you're Sophie?" Dean asked from the doorway up some steps, clearly having just arrived to see what was taking Kallie so long.

Sophie nodded, composed, "And you're Dean."

"So you're a real life angel?" Dean asked as Kallie realized he had never actually met one before.

"I am." Sophie replied simply, and despite how frank and human she could seem at times she was incredibly regal in this moment.

"I don't suppose you're going to help us out tonight are you?" Dean asked trying to size up the angel of wisdom while seeming unattached and aloof.

"I've done all I can, of that I can assure you, and that is more than most angels would dare." Sophie defended herself knowing that most humans wouldn't understand the boundaries of angel rules she was bound to follow.

"Trust me Dean," Kallie interjected, "She's not coming with us but she's giving us more of a fighting chance."

Dean took in this information and figured Kallie was right and saying in allowance, "Well thank you."

Sophie squinted her eyes at not anticipating Dean's sincerity, "I'll have you know I'd fight with you if I could."

"And why would you do that?" Dean asked incredulous.

"Well you may choose not to believe it but some of us up above are actually rooting for you to break your deal. You hold a lot more potential than you'll ever realize." Sophie informed him coolly.

Dean responded in his typical manner when things went over his head, "Neat. Come on Kal we should get going, Sammy's getting anxious."

"Okay, be there in a sec," Kallie said to him, wanting a moment to say good bye.

Dean turned to go but Sophie called to him causing him to stop, "It was interesting to meet you, Dean Winchester. I hope I will have the pleasure again."

Dean raised an eyebrow in his mystified manner, thinking that unless angels vacationed in Hell, he wouldn't be seeing anyone again soon, but responded, "Yeah, you too."

With that, the hunter turned and left, striding back to Bobby's run-down house. Kallie and the angel embraced one more time, wishing each other luck and God's guidance before Sophie departed.

"Hey," Kallie called to Dean, catching up.

Dean turned and saw her handing him the angel blade, "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Well, holy potential and goodness aside, I know you can hack it. Sam can use the Colt." Kallie said simply, continuing onto the house.

"Thank you." Dean responded, still shocked as he latched the sheath onto his own belt.

"Don't mention it!" Kallie called back not even looking back as she picked her way through the junk car lot.

When they got back to the house, Sam and Bobby were loading up the Impala and the Clubman. When everything was ready to go, Dean said something to Bobby about staying behind, which, as you can imagine, he took very well. Both the boys made arguments for their uncle-figure to stay home, while Kallie stayed out of it, until Bobby basically told them to shove it up their asses, responding that he was coming and that was that. In the end, Kallie stepped in offering to give Bobby a ride in her Clubman so that the boys could have this last little while to themselves.

The drive was long and mostly uneventful except for when Sam and Dean got pulled over by a demonically possessed cop. Fortunately, Dean was able to spot its true demonic nature which Kallie and Bobby explained as being part of his deal being so close to an end and that it comes with the hallucinations he's been having. Dean takes it to be very strange but useful.

"Okay, Sam and I will try to get the lay of the land," Dean announced when they had all arrived on what seemed to be a very quiet and clean neighborhood. "Kallie and Bobby, you two should try to get holy water in the main water line, and maybe we can use the sprinkler system or something to hold them off if things get intense."

"Okay, hopefully I'll see you soon." Kallie nodded as they parted ways, her leading the way to the neighborhood's water supply.

The minutes wore on as it got closer to midnight. Sam and Dean quickly realized that Lilith wasn't going to make it easy, what with pretty much the entire neighborhood alert and possessed, ready to defend their leader.

"You boys got a plan yet?" Kallie asked unexpectedly from behind them.

Both of them jumped from surprise.

"Jeez Kallie!" Sam yelled, startled, "I thought you were helping Bobby."

"I was but he's got it under control. I figured you guys needed me more." Kallie explained.

"Good thought." Dean agreed, turning back around to keep his eyes on the guarding demons.

"We're running out of time." Sam assessed, eager to keep moving, "I say we get as far as we can to the house so Bobby can turn the sprinklers on and maybe buy us some time."

"I don't think we have anytime left." Kallie pointed out as the hungry black eyes of over a dozen demons locked in on them and started closing in.

"Run!" Dean yelled as the three sprinted to the front door, ganking as many demons as they could along the way.

Fortunately, Bobby was clever and got the holy water sprinkler working so there was a layer of protection between the demons and the house.

Once inside the house they encountered the understandably hysterical father, and when he refused to leave they knocked him out for his own good and stashed him in the cellar.

From there they split up and searched the house for Lilith. Sam was the one who found the girl and nearly killed her before Dean arrived just in time to see that she wasn't possessed anymore. Dean looked deep in the face of the mom and the girl but there was no sign of a darker nature. Chagrinned and anxious that they hadn't found the hell bitch yet, the brothers retreated downstairs. After hiding the rest of the family, the boys reunited with Kallie in the living room.

"She wasn't in the girl." Sam informed Kallie, nervously.

"She must've jumped ship when she heard us coming." Kallie guessed, her eyes darting around.

"How could she get past the holy water?" Sam questioned while Dean took the fullness of the situation in.

"Lilith's part of the big league. Little repellents like that do nothing to her after all of these years." Kallie explained

"She'll still come after him though, won't she? I mean if she is this close when Dean's deal is up, she'll have to show, won't she?" Sam asked, the wheels in his head going double time from adrenaline.

"It tracks." Kallie replied, eyes glued to the grandfather clock.

"That means we still have a chance." Sam whispered hopeful, "I could still exorcise her or you could blast her when she comes."

"No." Kallie shot him down, "You don't have near enough experience to pull something like that off this quickly and besides, I don't think I could take out an upper level demon with the amount of juice I have."

Sam was clearly starting to truly panic and asked frantically as he tried to keep it under control, "Well what can we do?"

"We keep fighting." Dean answered calmly, "You hunt down as many of the sons-a-bitches as you can. You take care of the Impala. You stay good."

Before Dean could relay anymore last-minute advice, the clock tolled midnight ominously and loud in the quiet room.

Dean suddenly looked at one of the doorways with a small amount of fear.

"Is that a hellhound?" Sam asked, following his brother's gaze and seeing nothing.

"Yep." Dean replied simply before the three took off as quick as they could to the study, shutting the door behind them and going about putting goofer dust on the doorway and windowsill.

Hearts beating frantically as the sounds of scraping and banging filled their ears from the direction of the double doors.

"Dean, give me the knife, maybe I can fight it off." Kallie said suddenly, holding out her hand.

"What?" Sam asked confused at the sudden change.

"Come on, that dust won't last forever!" Kallie yelled.

"No," Sam argued, "He'll need it to keep the hellhounds off if they get through."

"Trust me, I know how to use it." Kallie countered insistently, stepping closer to Dean in the light of the moon shining through the windows.

Just then, from Dean's perspective, in her fervent stare and the light hitting her just right, her eyes appeared pitched black.

"Sam, that's not Kallie." Dean warned, as he took the blade out of its sheath. "That's not Kallie anymore."

Before he could get any farther or Sam could do more than raise his arms to attack, Kallie flicked her hands sending both brothers flying. Sam was thrown against a wall and Dean on top of what was once an ordered table.

"How long have you been in her?" Dean asked as he struggled to hold his head up to look at her.

"Not long." Lilith answered. "But I like it. It's so grown up and pretty."

"How'd you do it? How'd you hide who you were?" Dean groaned trying to sit up in vain.

"Oh it was all Kallie. Who knew all that holy potential actually hides demons. Of course no one would as it would kill most demons who would try. But I managed it, because I'm the toughest. If it didn't hurt so much, I'd like it. She's all grown up and so innocent." Lilith taunted through Kallie's mouth.

Lilith then looked Sam over leisurely before making her way over to him, so close that Sam could smell the raspberry shampoo Kallie had used the night before, "Hello Sam. I've wanted to meet you for a very long time."

Lilith reached up and grabbed his face before he could react and forced a kiss on him, commenting idly, "Your lips are soft."

Sam grimaced slightly, hating that Lilith was using the ever innocent Kallie for her bidding, "All right, so you have me. Let my brother go."

"Silly goose. You want a bargain, you have to have something I want." Lilith tsked at him in a taunting manner. "You don't."

"So this is your big plan, huh? Drag me to hell, kill Sam and then what? Become queen bitch?" Dean struggled to ask, fear rising in him at the though of Sam being killed.

"I don't have to answer to puppy chow," Lilith leveled, still grinning in a twisted way that looked wrong on the Warrior of God's face. Lilith sauntered over to the doors and opened the door, letting in the hell hound, saying in that sick little girl voice she favored, "Sic him, boy."

With that the invisible hellhound came charging in and attacked Dean, pulling him off the table with its teeth, clawing and scratching as blood spurted everywhere.

"No!" Dean yelled in a way that made Sam's stomach churn and his heart break while Lilith laughed evilly at it all.

Sam shouted, pleaded for her to stop it, in so much pain as he was forced to watch his brother die, "Stop it! No!"

"Yes." Lilith teased, still pleased with herself, Lilith got closer to Sam and held out a hand, Kallie's eyes going white as Sam could feel a sudden horrible power emanating from the girl before him causing him to fall to the ground under the force of it when quite suddenly, the white eyes glowed bright gold and the fearsome power stopped. Lilith was left standing there confused staring nervously at her hand as if something had gone horribly wrong, she held up her hand again but nothing happened.

Finally free from the wall, Sam took advantage and stood up as Lilith, in Kallie began taking haltering steps backward as Sam advanced.

"Back." Lilith ordered holding out her hand again, terrified by her loss of power. When Sam continued to advance she cried out again, "I said, back!"

When this too had no affect, Sam reached down and picked up the angel blade Dean had dropped when he was thrown.

"I don't think so." He growled, raising the knife to stab Kallie but before he could plunge the knife in, Lilith let out an unearthly scream as she fled in a stream of black smoke.

As the last of the demon smoke left her, Kallie had but a second to try to regain herself despite the utterly weak and hopeless feeling welling up inside of her, before Sam quite forcefully brought his raised fist down on her forehead, knocking the drained girl out with the hilt of the knife instead of stabbing her.

In some distant part of his mind, Sam realized that Kallie was his friend and a good person and didn't want to be possessed, but at that moment with his only brother dead on the floor, he couldn't stand to look at her and needed above all things, to be alone with his brother.

Tears springing to his eyes, Sam turned away from the sight of Kallie unconscious on the floor as the bloodied and dead Dean filled up all of his vision. It was the most horrible thing he had ever seen and he knew, in the back of his mind, that no matter what happened he would never get over that sight. So he cried for at least half an hour straight over his dear departed brother before finally, realizing he needed to move, to get things done, and picked up Dean as carefully as he could and left the house, leaving Kallie still out cold on the floor.

When Sam reached the street all of the demons, save the corpses, were gone. About halfway across, he saw Bobby exiting the house across the street. Though Bobby had feared this would happen, actually seeing the man he viewed as a sort of son torn up in Sam's arms was still a lot more than he could take and wept bitterly and unashamedly for several minutes.

Seeing Bobby like this caused tears to leak from Sam's eyes again but he got out, "I want to bury him."

Bobby had a few thoughts on that but saved them, and for the first time looked around, then back at the house and asked without any real heart to it, "Where's Kallie? Is she alright?"

"She's fine." Sam responded, filled with the sudden urge to lie. His insane reasoning telling him that anyone that could allow themselves to be possessed by Lilith deserved to lay alone in a bloody house without any comfort. So he lied, "She slipped out the back, decided it'd be best if we split up for a little while."

Bobby didn't think that sounded like Kallie but figured that grief changed people and decided to leave it alone.

So, sadly and grudgingly, the two men made their way to the Impala, loading Dean carefully in the back and drove off into the night.

Hours later in what had quickly become a horror house a desperately sad Warrior of God woke up with a bleeding forehead, never having felt so alone and miserable in her whole life.

_Life will flash before my eyes  
So scattered and lost  
I want to touch the other side  
And no one thinks they are to blame  
Why can't we see  
That when we bleed we bleed the same.  
_

_Map of the Problematique by Muse_

**Author's Note: Oh god, this chapter was hard. Very painful. This was also my first attempt to actually follow the events from one of the episodes of the show and as such I am very self-conscious about it.**

**Okay, I know it was not the best but please let me know what you thought about it. Like what you thought of some of the stuff Dean and Kallie talked about or how I tied it in with the episode, with my own flare of course.**

**I am also a big fan of concrit and if you have any questions about something I wrote in here, please let me know!**

**Okay, you guys know the drill, I shall try to be back again soon but what really helps is reviews and feedback so I know that someone is reading and enjoying and wanting more.**

**Love you guys!**

**-Fin**


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